Page 32 of An Ex Affair

The entire town had shown up for the fundraiser today. Kids ran around with balloons in their hands and faces a kaleidoscope of colors from the snow cone vendor. The weather was perfect and Captain had a full-blown smile on his grumpy face while he clapped me on the shoulder repeatedly for a job well done. The petting zoo was a hit with the kiddos and Mom was in her element talking about all the different species of pets. Women had lined up down the block to get photos with all of us greased up, bare-chested firefighters. Surely we’d made more money than we anticipated.

All in all, I should be in a good mood. But I wasn’t. Why? Because of Tully-fucking-Cassio. Starling. Wolfe. Whatever thefuck her last name was these days. She flitted around here like the local celebrity she was, all smiles and gosh-shucks and signing her autograph and taking selfies with people. It was nauseating.

Not because she was successful. I was secretly proud as hell of her.

It just highlighted that I hadn’t done shit with my life since she left me. She’d been right to leave. I would have kept her in this small town and she wouldn’t have flourished. And that fucking stung because I’d always been so sure that we were right together. I would have literally staked my life on the fact that we were better together than apart. Clearly, I’d have lost my pathetic life on that bet.

“Okay, let’s get our final firefighter up here for bidding!” Gannon Hart, the owner of Glamper’s Paradise, was doing the emceeing here today. He was also in the band we’d hired to play after all the events were over. “Colson Wolfe, where are you, brother?”

Chief shoved me forward when I didn’t move one fucking inch closer to that makeshift stage Tully and I slaved over this week. I grumbled something under my breath, but finally made my way up as heads swiveled in my direction. I had no way out of this stupid bidding thing Tully had suggested. As my boots got closer to the stage, I kept reminding myself that this money we raised might help me keep my job.

“Ladies, we have one of the Wolfe brothers who’d love to spend an hour with you. Yard work, conversation, maybe he can do your dishes? The possibilities are endless, though I have it on good authority he gives good back rubs.”

I gave Gannon a dirty look. He pulled the microphone from his mouth and shrugged, likelook, bro, I’m just reading what they told me to say. I stood there, feet wide apart and my handsbehind my back. I now knew what women meant when they complained about feeling like property.

“Let’s start the bidding at twenty dollars.”

I rolled my eyes. Surely I could fetch more than a measly twenty dollars. Some little biddy at the back of the crowd crowed, “Thirty!” Bidding continued rapid fire until it got up to a hundred dollars. All old ladies. That made me grin a bit, despite myself. The older ladies just couldn’t help themselves, they loved this mustache.

“We got one hundred with Mildred, going once…” Gannon paused. No one else came forward. “Going twice.”

“A thousand dollars.”

The crowd gasped and that rushing noise filled my ears again. Tully pushed through the crowd and held up a wad of cash in her little hand. Gannon guffawed right into the microphone.

“Dear God, I don’t wanna know what demeaning things your ex-wife will make you do for that hour,” he hooted. The crowd started tittering.

Tully turned around and addressed the crowd like the celebrity she was. “What do you say we make him shave that awful mustache?” The crowd went wild, which hurt my pride a bit. I did hear a few boos, but the cheers outweighed them.

Turning back to Gannon, Tully held out the money again. “Did I win?”

Gannon jumped to attention and hit the gavel against the podium we’d borrowed from the local church. “Sold to Tully Cassio!”

Tully grinned like she and the devil were on speaking terms. Her finger crooked and her voice was loud enough to be heard over the crowd. “Somebody bring me a chair and a razor!”

Much to my mustache’s horror, someone provided a chair quite quickly and Joey ran out of the station with his own razorheld high. I rolled my eyes and vowed to pay that fucker back when he least expected it.

Tully patted the chair, putting on a show everyone seemed to want to watch. “Come on down, Wolfe!”

I sauntered down the four steps from the stage like I was a beaten-down man walking to the gallows. When I got to Tully and that stupid chair, she grinned and shoved me down. I sat willingly. There wasn’t much else I could do with an entire crowd of townsfolk chanting “shave it, shave it, shave it!”

Tully lifted a leg, straddled my lap and had a seat right on my legs. My eyes went wide at the intimate contact, but then I had bigger things to worry about. Joey handed her a can of shaving cream and that menace of an ex-wife of mine poured out a huge dollop before slathering it all over my face. The crowd cackled behind her.

In a last-ditch effort to save face, I lifted my head and looked at several of them dead in the eye. “I’ll remember this when you call 9-1-1 and your house is on fire!”

The mean-spirited chants died away. “Oh, come on, Colson. We love you. It’s just that ’stache that has to go.”

Tully smiled triumphantly and lifted the razor in the air. “Stand back, y’all!”

She placed a hand on my bare chest, her skin branding me. And then she leaned in, bottom lip caught on her teeth in concentration. “Don’t move, hotshot. I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

I had so many things I wanted to say, but none of it could be said in front of the whole town and a razor now touching my lip. I held my breath and let her shave my mustache. She took her time, careful and methodical as she swept that hair right off my top lip. Her scent surrounded me, making it hard to feel bad about losing the mustache. My hands had nowhere to go, so they ended up on her jean-clad thighs to hold her steady.

The sounds of the people around us faded into the background. I mostly just took the opportunity to look my fill at this woman up close. She’d aged, just like me, but unlike me she’d gotten better looking with time. Like she’d settled into her body and found peace there. Like being in the spotlight for so many years had breathed life into her. Like she pursued her dreams and came away victorious while I was still stuck in place.

Her eyes finally lifted to mine, then widened. Like she was surprised to find that our faces were just an inch or so apart. “All done,” she whispered. My dick responded. I couldn’t fucking help it. She wason my lap. Her eyes widened further, letting me know she felt it. “He keeps forgetting I’m yourex-wife.”

I wanted to throttle her. Then kiss the sass out of her. Then throttle her again. “Not when you keep doing shit like this.” I glanced down at where she was intimately sprawled across my lap.

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