Page 38 of An Ex Affair

I grunted, not knowing how to respond to that. I got busy grabbing a dish towel to put under the faucet and dab at my shirt with. There was no hope for the light blue shirt. I put the dish towel back and faced my ex-mother-in-law like a goddamn adult.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone in there and I shouldn’t be staying with you. I’m sure this is awkward.”

Gigi smiled at me, leaning back on the counter. “Oh, honey, it’s not awkward. I’ve always loved you like a daughter. The only awkwardness will be if you break his heart all over again. I’m old, so I can’t kick your ass, but I can still find ways to make your life miserable.”

I had to cough to clear my throat. “Understood.”

I looked at her, seeing the years that had passed since I saw her last. She now sported reading glasses on top of her head twenty-four seven. Her light brown hair was mostly silver nowand she’d put on some weight that only made her look like she gave the best hugs. I respected the woman and didn’t want to lie to her.

“While Colson and I didn’t work out as a married couple, we’ve discovered there’s still attraction there. I still care for your son, but marriage or anything serious isn’t in the cards for me.”

Gigi smiled warmly. “One thing I’ve learned is that one is never too old for love. And marriage isn’t easy, I’ll give you that. My dear Willy used to give me fits more often than not, but having a person by my side through all life throws at you was worth it.” She pushed off the counter and walked up to me, rubbing her hand up and down my arm. “You’re both adults, honey. Attraction is all well and good, but if you see my boy developing feelings for you again, promise me—woman to woman—that you’ll leave him be. I can’t see him hurt like that again.”

I put my hand on hers. “I promise you, Gigi.”

She smiled once more and left the room. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts, I didn’t finish my coffee or change my stained shirt. I just grabbed my keys and left, driving the windy roads to Mama’s house, storm clouds brewing in my head. That was two people now who’d warned me away from Colson.

Pip and Savannah hadn’t shown up to Mama’s house yet, so I pulled around back and headed for the carriage house. I knocked, calling out for Mama. She hollered to come in, so I did, Hayes coming up to greet me, tail wagging. Mama got up from the small couch to get another cup of coffee for me, which I appreciated now that I remembered I hadn’t drunk mine at Gigi’s.

“Hey, boy.” I bent down and scratched behind the old pup’s ears. He slid to the floor and rolled over, letting me rub his belly with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

“That dog is such a lovey,” Mama said, coming back to the couch with a mug of coffee for me. I stood up and sat next to her. Hayes was slower to amble over, but he made it, collapsing on our feet and resting his head on his paws. His eyes were already blinking shut for a mid-morning nap. “Poor Colson’s not going to know what to do with himself when he crosses that rainbow bridge.”

“You know, Hayes was what we were going to name our son if we had one.”

Mama didn’t blink. “I know.”

Pretty sure I never shared that with her before, which meant Colson had. I swear, the two of them were thick as thieves. I took a fortifying sip of coffee and asked what had been spinning through my mind since yesterday when Joey had warned me not to hurt Colson. “Mama, what exactly happened with Colson when I left after the divorce?”

If she was surprised by the question, she didn’t show it. “Well, he went through all the stages of grief, I’d say. He got stuck in the anger stage for a long time. It was why he moved away from Blueball. He got fired from that construction job he had.”

“What?” That was the first I’d heard of that. I had friends in Blueball that kept me up to date on things for a short while after I left town. I eventually got busy in Hollywood and lost track of them, but they’d never said anything about Colson being fired.

Mama nodded, always one to tell a story as slowly as she could for some reason. It drove me crazy. “What do you expect, Tully? Colson’s a man with a lot of pride that got stomped on. He started acting out and eventually got fired. His daddy was so angry. I do remember that. Colson came to visit the day before he left town. Said he was sorry to leave me, but he had to go someplace where every spot didn’t remind him of you. Said hehad to leave before he disappointed his whole family with who he’d become.”

I sat back on the couch and digested that. Colson and I had talked quite a bit when I filed for divorce. He’d been shocked at first, then determined to change my mind. And then at the end, he’d been so calm. Said he understood. I figured after I left he’d healed and gone on his way. To find out he’d been fired and left town because he wasn’t doing well was certainly news to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Mama looked deep into my eyes. “He made me promise not to.”

“What? Why would he do that?”

“Don’t you get it? That boy lived and breathed for you, honey. Even heartbroken he didn’t want you to have any emotional distress.”

I jumped to my feet. Hayes jolted awake and scrambled to his feet to look up at me.

Mama just sighed. “Go ahead and run away again.”

“Mama!” My jaw dropped. “I’m not running away.”

She looked at me, looking more tired than I’d seen her recently. “I know we’re very different people, Tully, but you need to listen to me for once in your life. Do not hurt that man again, do you hear me?”

Three people now.

“I hear you,” I said quietly.

Then I turned on my heel and headed down to the river. I needed to have a chat with my dad. We used to fish, or swim, or just sit on a rock and try to skip stones across the water. No matter what, we’d talk. I’d always been a daddy’s girl and his death was single-handedly the worst day of my life. Mama had always been a homebody, but she’d gotten worse after he died. Now I couldn’t even recall the last time she left her house. Maybeeight years ago when I hired an assistant to drive her to LA to see me?