Page 11 of Winter Memories

“That’s not the only reason,” my voice is sharp.

Noel’s head snaps up and he stares at me for a long moment. “No, I guess it’s not.” He narrows his eyes, the accusation clear to see and hear in his next words, “You were also trying to take the burden off the rest of us kids.”

Well. Fuck.

“It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done,” I mumble, not confirming his assertion outright, but doing it with my pointed avoidance loud and fucking clear.

“But she’s back,” there’s so much damn hope in my brother’s voice that it makes the backs of my eyes burn.

“Yeah, she’s back,” I swallow hard, “and she has a son.”

Silence.

Not just quiet, but that kind of silence that is charged and so damn ominous and unavoidable that you want to scream into it just to make it stop.

“I’m sorry,” every word from Noel’s mouth is biting, “what?”

“She has a son,” I whisper. “He’s three. The moment I saw him, it felt like the world was crumbling around me. I already noticed she didn’t have a ring on her finger, and I thought-,” I cut myself off and shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. After Macklin,” I shoot Noel a look, “the little boy, asked who I was, and I told him my name he asked Eden if my name was like the hero in all the bedtime stories she tells him.”

“Woah,” Noel breathes out and all I can do is nod. I swear the man is sitting on the edge of his damn seat and soaking up the drama, “Then what happened?”

“I turned the fuck around and ran out of the store like my ass was on fire.” My eyebrows pull together and I frown. “I wasn’t expecting Eden to follow me, but she did. She told me Macklin was a result of a one-night stand and how her and the sperm donor,” I sneer the words, anger riding me hard, “tried to be together for a while.”

“I take it that it didn’t work out,” Noel surmises.

“After however long, he just up and left them. Disappeared in the middle of the night with only some papers dissolving his parental responsibilities left behind.”

Thinking about it, again, makes me see fucking red. How could anyone abandon their son? How could anyone abandon fucking Eden when she was right there? When she was willing to try?

I would have given my right fucking arm for another chance with her. He had her in the palm of his hand and he fucking threw her, and Macklin, away. He better stay fucking gone.

“That’s fucked up,” Noel grumbles. When I look at him, it’s clear he’s pissed on Eden and Macklin’s behalf, just like I am. There’s also something else in his eyes, like he can see something I can’t. At least, something I’m not willing to see. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

I stand up abruptly before stalking out of the house and heading over to mine. I don’t want to be called out on my bullshit which is exactly what Noel would have done.

The truth is that I want to go over to the neighbor’s ranch, sweep Eden off her feet, and become the family we were always meant to be. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it when Eden realizes that Wintervale is too small for her and her dreams. Because if she were to leave again after letting her and her son into my heart it would destroy me.

CHAPTER 5

EDEN

A tapping sound, one that is both foreign and achingly familiar, has me sitting straight up in bed. I’m positive my exhaustion is playing tricks on me because there is no way I just heard what I thought I did. I’m instantly transported back to a time when Fletcher would sneak over to my family’s ranch and would tap on my window.

I shake my head and try to convince myself that I’m just hearing things. You know, wishful thinking or something.

It’s really not my fault. Seeing Fletcher today and dumping far too much at his feet has made me feel numb since it happened. It was difficult as hell to stay present with Macklin, but he relies on me to be the best mom I can be.

There are times when I’m sure I’m failing at the whole thing. But I keep showing up. How I’m doing as a mom is something I’m constantly worried about. I’m sure I’ve screwed up morethan a few times, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I’ll keep screwing up.

When Macklin was less than a year old, I asked my mom how she dealt with the constant fear and worry. I could hear the smile in her voice, because of course we weren’t face to face due to my stubbornness, “You just keep moving and trying.”

I whined, holding the word out, “Mom.”

She chuckled, her words filled with amusement, “I’m serious, Eden. There is no manual and there is only trial and error when it comes to most things and parenting. What works one day might not the next. It’s hard work, but I do know one thing.”

I whispered, feeling the weight of the responsibility of Macklin’s little life on my shoulders, “What?”

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