Page 5 of Winter Memories

“Eden,” I choked out and when she turned toward me, her hair slicked back and wet from the lake, the smile that tipped her lips up was pure fucking sunshine. I don’t know what she saw on my face, but she cocked her head to the side like she was studying me. “Come here,” I demanded.

She didn’t hesitate and with every step she took closer to me, my heart pounded against the inside of my chest harder. If I would have been able to think about anything other than how damn good she looked, I would have wondered if I was having a heart attack at 14. I wasn’t. I was just being taken over by something I never expected—I was discovering the other half of my soul. Right in front of me.

And far too early.

That was the first time I kissed Eden. For a split second I was afraid she was going to deck me, but I shouldn’t have been worried. Her eyes sparkled and she bit her lip, making her look even more adorable than she already looked. Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissedme.

I gave my heart to Eden that day, knowing I’d never want it back. Knowing it was always supposed to be hers.

Then six years later I had to shred my own heart apart, because the distance between us was going to destroy everythingwe loved about each other and the sweet memories of how we fell in love. Eden would have kept trying, she would have kept working at our relationship while giving up the experiences she should have been having at school. She would have resented me and us.

I couldn’t let it happen. So, I set her free. Even though it killed me. Even though I still haven’t recovered.

There’s no doubt in my mind—I never will.

While I could fake it, I’m not very good at it. I’ve tried and failed, spectacularly. I’d rather just keep my head down and work my ass off for Limitless.

It’s the ranch which ensured I’d never be able to follow Eden wherever her path took her. I can’t find it in me to resent it though, even if I probably should. Wintervale and Limitless is where I belong. Eden was always meant for more.

“Fletch,” Noel’s voice pulls me from my memories. I’ve been lost in them more and more recently and I don’t know why.

It feels like something is right on the horizon, but still out of sight. It makes no damn sense.

I shake my head and let out a huff as I sit at the table where my brothers are waiting for me. I look down at my plate and even though my mouth was watering moments ago and it smells delicious, dinner isn’t nearly as appealing with the ghosts of Eden enveloping me.

“You good?” Huxley is eyeing me like I’m a ticking time bomb.

I’m not sure how far off he is, honestly. Maybe not far at all.

“Of course,” I grunt and start to eat.

When my brothers don’t join in right away, I look up between them, hoping they’re going to let this drop. They share a long, weighted look, but then start to dig into the food. I almost sigh in relief when they don’t try and grill me.

I’m sure they know exactly what has gotten me in a funk, one not even Buttercup could help me out of.

When we’re almost done eating, the silence around us has become more relaxed as the ghost of the only woman I have ever loved burns away like fog in the morning. My shoulders relax and I start to enjoy the food Noel has cooked.

“This is really good,” I mumble and look at my brother out of the corner of my eye. “Thanks for cooking.”

Noel shrugs one shoulder, but I can see the smile he’s trying to hide. He became a lot more serious and closed off after joining the military. It’s something I don’t know how to help him with, which makes me feel useless as fuck. I think the horses have helped, probably more than he’s willing to admit.

What I don’t like is how he seems to be struggling to find his place at Limitless. He needs a purpose, a reason to get up every morning, and it can’t just be cooking for us when it’s his night.

Noel clears his throat and my stomach clenches as my mind races with all the worst-case scenarios. “I wanted to talk to you about something, Fletch,” his voice is level, but I can hear a hint of nervousness underneath.

“You’re not leaving Limitless,” my voice is hard, needing to cut off any of the bullshit he’s getting ready to spew.

Noel blinks at me a few times before he starts to speak, his words slow and measured, “I’m not going anywhere.” I nod once, not wanting to acknowledge how relieved his words makeme feel.He takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “You know I haven’t been the same since I came back,” he snorts and shakes his head, “before then really.”

“You know we’re here for you if you want to talk about it,” Huxley’s voice is soft and serious, something I’m not used to hearing from our youngest brother.

“The horses have helped,” Noel keeps talking like our brother didn’t offer him a lifeline, even though the small smile he shoots at Huxley is an acknowledgement and thanks in one. “I’ve been doing some research on equine therapy, and I’d like to bring someone in who can help us start a program here.”

I sit back in my chair and stare at my younger brother. We were close growing up and often banded together to protect Carson and Huxley since they were the youngest. I hate the shadows I see in Noel’s eyes. I hate that I wasn’t there at his side when he needed me the most.

“If you think it would be good for the ranch, I know the horses would probably thrive with that kind of task. We have some good souls on the ranch right now. If they can help people, I’m in,” I tell my brother while looking into his eyes to show him how sincere I am.

One side of his mouth tips up in a half smile and he nods. Something warms in my chest at the thought of Noel finding his purpose at Limitless. I should probably be asking questions about whether it’ll be profitable for the ranch, but I don’t give a shit about that. Our breeding program makes us a lot of money and we can afford to take a risk like this.

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