Page 18 of Dare to Love Again

“All of that makes Decadence special,” she agreed with an exuberant nod.

“But you’ve yet to avail yourself of it, other than as an observer.” He crossed his brawny arms on top of the desk and leaned forward. Esme reacted by inching back in her seat. His brow arched, but he didn’t comment on her retreat. “You haven’t actively partaken of any amenities whether to have a drink at the bar, enjoying the live entertainment, or any of the special events, and you’ve yet to take part in a scene, either private or in the main room.”

Startled he knew so much about her activities, she wasn’t sure how to respond. So much for her efforts at staying off his radar. “I, uh, is, um, that required, sir?”

He sat back, both brows raised in surprise. “Considering this is a BDSM club and our primary function is to bring people in the lifestyle together and to provide a unique play experience for those who are, it’s certainly expected.”

“Oh.”

“What do you get out of coming here, little one? You’re a regular, at least twice a week.”

“I’m not sure it’s as frequent as that, sir.”

“It is,” he replied succinctly. “I pulled your attendance sheet. Would you like to review it?”

“No, sir. I’m sure your record keeping is accurate.”

His chair creaked as he came to his feet and sauntered around the desk to stand in front of her. At well over six feet tall, looming over her was a more fitting description. Esme scooted back farther until her body molded against the high back, leaving no room for further retreat.

“Let me be clear about something. Evasiveness annoys me.”

She swallowed, not sure how to respond to his inference.

“In the time you’ve been with us, which is nearly three months, you haven’t found a dominant to suit you, but I’m uncertain how you can know when you reject all their offers. Until recently, when everyone simply stopped asking.”

Again, she said nothing because his observation was dead-on accurate.

“Your sponsor is inactive.” He twisted to pick up a sheet of paper from his desk. “Ryan Paxton sent me a last-minute email a few weeks ago. It seems his latest assignment will have him tied up for some time, months, perhaps longer.”

Done with exhibit A, he dropped it on his desk then continued building his case against her. And she did not feel good about the imminent verdict.

“How are you connected with an FBI agent?”

“He was a friend of my previous master.”

“I see,” he murmured. “His leaving poses a dilemma. An unsponsored, uncollared submissive in my dungeon is unusual. One who refuses to play and opts only to watch is unheard of.”

“You have no other voyeurs at the club, Master Eric?”

“Plenty. Hundreds. Most of our membership likes to watch and be watched. Those who don’t lean toward exhibitionism use the second-floor rooms, or they enjoy the lounge, mingling with others, looking for a connection, whether for the night or something permanent. Again, that isn’t what you seem to want. I’m beginning to feel like a thief taking Pax’s money and am unsure I want to take yours. Our dues aren’t cheap.”

“I don’t have a problem with the fees, sir.”

He stared at her for a moment. “Paralegals are better paid than I thought.”

“I can afford the membership, sir,” she said vaguely because her finances weren’t really his business. If she paid on time, why did he care? “As for feeling like a thief, please don’t. I don’t feel cheated and would like to continue.”

“Why?”

Silence fell over the room as she struggled to formulate an answer. How much did she disclose about her past? Outwardly, she got very little out of her membership, but it grounded her and being around others like her, even if she didn’t take part, filled some of the emptiness inside her if only for the few hours she was here.

Finally, she whispered, “I don’t know, sir.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you find an answer, and neither can any of our masters, if you won’t let us do our part. And, unfortunately, members have complained.”

That was a surprise, and it stung. “But...I don’t understand. I do my best not to bother anyone.”

“You mentioned our voyeurs. For each one who likes to watch, we have as many exhibitionists. But there’s an unwritten contract here. Everyone gets naked and vulnerable. Some may be slow to warm up, but eventually, everyone does, it evens the playing field. To have one out of hundreds who doesn’t, who stands on the outside looking in, lurking one of them called it, has been noticed and is making some uncomfortable.” He twisted and grabbed the folder once more. “The history you gave us on your application is vague. Perhaps you can fill in the blanks, which will help me decide how best you could fit in.”

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