Page 104 of Passionate Defense

“The bastards could afford and deserved to pay more.”

Beaming at him, a burst of giddy laughter burst free. “That’s what Judge Studor said.” Suddenly, doubts crept in and she bit her lip in uncertainty. “Maybe I should have advised them to hold out for more.”

He pulled her down next to him, cocooning her in his arms. “That was my anger talking. Eighty million is painful for them and life-changing for your clients. You did great, Lanie. I’ve never been prouder.”

Propping herself on an elbow, she grinned down at him. “You saying that means a lot. But I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m proud of me, too.”

With a warm smile, Ethan gave her a squeeze. “You should be. Watching you in action today was a joy. You lit up the courtroom. In under two hours, you backed Simons’ cronies into a corner so expertly they had no option but to settle. If it had gone to the jury, you would have won because you had them eating out of your hand.”

“Unless Beth was batting her big baby blues, then they only had eyes for her. She was so good.”

“She was cute, but you were captivating. Anytime you spoke, crossed your legs, or tapped your scarlet lips with your pen, every eye was on you.”

Unable to keep still, Lanie sat up and flung a leg over him, straddling his hips. “With eight female plaintiffs, nine women on the jury, a lady judge and me, the hot lady lawyer”—she smoothed her hands down her sides, molding her nightie seductively to her body, gave an exaggerated hair flip and declared—“they never stood a chance.”

He steadied her at the hips, his eyes glinting with amusement. “If I didn’t know how much the bastards deserved what they got, I’d feel sorry for them. They were grossly outmatched. I know WW&S is ruing the day they underestimated Melanie Fischer.”

“And what a comeuppance for Simons, with disbarment, a felony conviction, jail time, restitution, and now these civil damages... Yeah, I’d say Walt is having a bad year.”

After her deadpan summation, they locked eyes for a moment, then erupted into peals of laughter. When they calmed enough to catch their breath, Ethan pulled her down to his chest and wrapped her up in a tight hug.

“It amazes me sometimes that my sweet, playful, submissive Lanie can coexist in the same body as the Ice Queen, a card-carrying kick-ass bitch who makes other attorneys quake in their high heels and overpriced Italian loafers. I keep thinking about that old game show,What’s my Line?Will the real Lanie Fischer please stand up?”

She pushed out of his arms and sat up, unable to believe what she’d heard. That he felt he didn’t know her was like a physical blow. Tears stung her eyes as she looked away.

He sat up and tried to pull her close again, but she resisted. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But you did. What did you mean by the real Lanie Fischer? Who do you think I am, Ethan?”

The concern brimming in his brown eyes made her want to withdraw her question. But they weren’t in court, and no judge would intervene.

“To be honest, you’ve changed so much in the past year, I’m not sure. I worry it wasn’t what you would have chosen for yourself.”

Perplexed, she stared down at him for a moment before she answered. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have changed if not for you, but fate often steps in when you least expect it.”

Ethan actually flinched, a wounded look encompassing his face for a split second before he masked it.

She didn’t understand what this was about. He’d supported her through everything, especially when she left WW&S. She respected his opinion and listened to his advice, but they were her decisions—he made sure of that. So why was he suddenly uncertain that it was what she wanted?

His voice was unusually strained when he spoke. “I loved you as you were. You were already a successful attorney well on your way to being one of Boston’s finest. But you internalize it all, and I couldn’t stand seeing how it was affecting you physically and emotionally. I only wanted to help you learn to deal with it, to relax, and let loose a little. The role-playing and the spankings were an outlet. I never wanted to changeyou, and I sure as hell didn’t want you to change for me. I want you to be you, not what you think I want you to be. Does that make sense?” When she simply stared at him, he cursed under his breath, “Hell! I’m making a mess of this.”

“I didn’t mean... I thought...” Her head hurt as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. It was like they were speaking two different languages. Needing clarification, her eyes cut to his. “What are you talking about?”

“Me taking charge, the dominance, and the discipline.”

“Ethan, I was talking about the changes with my career, not with me or with us.”

His jaw dropped then it snapped shut as he tilted his head thoughtfully. “I’ve seen many changes there, too, not realizing how much until seeing you in action today. You had big career goals; they’re the reason you joined a large firm from the get-go. I can’t help wondering where you would be now, if I hadn’t encouraged you to branch out on your own, to deal with your emotions in a vastly different way. I never wanted to hold you back, Lanie.”

“Wait. I’m confused. Weren’t you in the gallery today, watching me take down the biggest firm in Boston? How could you possibly think you were holding me back? I have changed, but for the better, I think. I don’t understand where all this is coming from.”

“Except for the wink, the woman I saw in the courtroom today is not my Lanie. She was shrewd, calculating, cold—the complete opposite of the woman I love.”

“The wink. Oh, Ethan. I slipped character.”

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