Page 12 of Passionate Defense

“Fine. I felt relief, but it was more than that...it was freeing. I don’t know how to explain... Intense is the right word, I suppose, and exhilarating. Embarrassing, too, but that came after. It felt good to let it all out.”

“As I’d hoped, except the embarrassing part. We need to work on that because there is no reason for you ever to feel ashamed about what we do. I love all of you; the good, the bad, and even the ugly.”

Her hands flew to her face, wiping at her cheeks and below her eyes. “I must be a mess. I’m an ugly crier—my nose always runs and my eyes get red. That’s another reason I try very hard not to do it.”

He pinched her behind lightly, and she stopped. Ethan hated negative self-talk of any fashion.

“Sorry.”

“Nothing about you is ugly, Lanie. That was an expression; one that I regret using.”

She sniffled. Appeased but not convinced.

“So, in a nutshell, for you, a spanking is therapeutic. For whatever reason, you need permission to let go, or forgiveness for what you feel is a weakness, and the freedom to find your emotional release. That’s where I come in. By giving me control, you can absolve yourself of all responsibility, even if subconsciously. Whether in play or for real when you need it, I’ll take the blame, be your hero or the bad guy. Whatever you need and whenever you need it, I’m here for you, because I love you. Make sense?”

“No. I don’t want to blame you, and you shouldn’t have to carry the burden of all my crap.”

“Why should you care if it’s something that I want to do?”

“Because it’s not fair. You’re my husband, not my whipping boy.”

“Hmm, intriguing idea, but in this relationship, I’ll be the only one holding the whip.”

She froze. Was he serious?

“What do you mean, like master and slave girl or something?”

“If you like.” He grinned. “I think you would look sexy in a harem outfit. I was also thinking about a scene between a teacher and his naughty student. That should come naturally. Or, the policeman who pulls over a sexy speeder, but instead of a ticket, he paddles her sassy butt over the hood of his cruiser.”

Handcuffs instantly came to mind and Ethan in uniform.Yum!

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

“I’ve got a devious mind. I learned from years of working with the most devious elements out there; criminals and college students.” He flashed a grin, which she readily returned, noting again how very handsome he was. “I’ll take the lead on the scenarios, but feel free to give me suggestions. So, are you willing to try it and see if it helps you relax?”

“I guess.”

“That’s what I like. A decisive answer,” he said with a sigh.

She smacked him lightly on the shoulder and then squealed as he rolled them as one, his bodyweight pinning her to the bed. Looking up at him, she searched his beloved features. His thick sable hair was overly long and weeks past due for a trim, but mussed as it was from her fingers, it was very sexy. His distinctive brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate with subtle darker variations and tiny flecks of gold, were ringed by a dark outer edge and fringed with long black lashes any girl would kill for.

Dropping her gaze, she concentrated on his full, very kissable lips. From daily experience, she knew how soft they were and how often they curved into an easy smile. When he grinned broadly, a dimple appeared in his right cheek. Forget handsome. Her husband was freaking gorgeous.

As he gazed down at her, she felt bathed in his love—never had she doubted it. Despite his deep affection, she was still uncertain about how she felt about this new twist in their relationship. Hesitantly, she tried to put her thoughts into words, but she couldn’t and only came up with, “I don’t feel very decisive about any of this.”

“Don’t worry, that’s what I’m here for. It should be fun, for the most part. But although this may seem like a game, it’s also very real. Sometimes these lessons may be hard for you to learn, but you’ll always have an out in case it gets too intense or you’re afraid.”

“How hard?”

“I won’t give you more than you can take.”

“I’m afraid your hand may tire of teaching me. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I can be a real pain in the butt.”

“Mm, I hadn’t noticed.”

“Liar,” she quipped.

“Never fear, sweet girl. If my hand gets tired, I’ll use a paddle. If that doesn’t do the job, I can always dress you up like a naughty schoolgirl and try a more traditional punishment.”

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