Page 105 of Healing the Heart

“I don’t know what any of this means! Stop talking in code and fairy tales.”

“Noah’s world crumbled when he lost his wife and daughter, leaving him utterly devastated. He swore off love and erected shields around his heart. It’s not uncommon. I did the same after Andrew died. The gut-wrenching pain usually eases with time. It never goes away completely, at least not for me, but you learn how to go on and love again. It took me two years.”

“It has been five for Noah,” she whispered.

Esme nodded grimly, as did Val. He was stuck, tragically, and perhaps by choice.

“How did they die?” she asked, feeling it was important. “He didn’t say.”

“And he won’t,” Val stated. “Eric says he refuses to talk about it. Which, as a mental health professional, I can say isn’t the way you move forward.”

“But he did, in some ways,” Esme continued. “I’m a submissive and needed— Well, you can guess what I needed. But, like Noah, I thought I could play at the club and stay emotionally detached. That’s why he only agrees to a scene or a night, no more.”

“The subs nicknamed him Master One and Done,” Val disclosed.

“But that doesn’t matter, now,” Esme insisted. “You broke through, Fiona. Like Keiran did with me.”

“Not exactly. You have your happily ever after, Esme. Noah is pulling away from me.”

“Oh, Fiona,” Esme said, on the verge of tears herself. “I see so much of myself in him. He’s afraid of getting hurt again.”

“He’d rather be alone for the rest of his life than take a chance?”

“Don’t let him,” she urged. “Be persistent. If you broke through once, you can do it again. Keiran wouldn’t take no for an answer with me.”

Val sat down beside her and shoved a wad of tissues into her hand. “I’m so sorry, Fiona. I should have never matched the two of you together.”

“She wasn’t alone,” Esme admitted. “We ambushed him and did a lot of arm twisting.”

“Are you saying you coerced him into that scene with me?”

Val and Esme glanced at each other, which was answer enough.

She shot to her feet, pacing again. “Our scene crashed and burned before it began. We wanted different things; we’d never work.” Except that they had for weeks. “I knew if I spent any time with him my heart would be lost. So I quit the club. It wastime anyway. Then my life went off the rails.” She strode back and forth, her agitation rising. “Detective Owens told me to go to Rossi for protection, that they would help even if I couldn’t afford them because they had a soft spot for vulnerable women.”

“He didn’t lie,” Val put in quietly.

“The next day, I walked in to Rossi, and Noah was there. He wouldn’t hear of anyone else being assigned to me.” She skewered Esme with a look, stating, “And Keiran agreed without blinking.”

“Yeah,” she said, squirming with unease. “They kind of stick together if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Ever since, it’s been high-drama, uncertainty, and life-and-death stakes. Now, when it’s just the two of us without the drama, we have nothing.”

“That’s not true,” Val insisted. “You were dancing when I came into the lounge tonight.”

“It’s not the same as it was.” Unable to pace any more, and feeling a little sick, she sat on the couch and put her head in her hands. “He took me in after they trashed and graffitied my place. I thought, no, I hoped...” Her voice broke.

“What did he tell you about his wife and daughter?” Esme asked.

“Nothing really, just that he wanted to try again with me. Believe me, there were warning bells going on in my head, but I hoped... We were good together. Better than any dom I’ve ever been with, and definitely any man.”

“He would be, honey. He’s a club master.”

She frowned. “No, he’s not.”

“You’re right, but he should be. They have the most experience, but there’s also something special about them.”

“It’s the voice,” Esme stated.

---