Page 107 of Healing the Heart

Chapter 27

It’s Just a Dream

THE LIVE BAND DIDN’Tfinish until 2 a.m. They left well before midnight. In the quiet of the elevator, on the ride up to their tenth-floor hotel suite, Noah broke the silence. “What happened tonight? You seem...off.”

Immediately thinking,hello pot, meet kettle, she looked up sharply. The motion sent a sharp pain through her brain. Fiona winced, rubbing her forehead. “It’s the headache.”

He frowned down at her and looked like he was going to say something more, but they arrived at their floor, and the doors slid open.

After unlocking the door and ushering her inside, he promptly sent her straight to bed. “While you get ready, I’ll bring you an ice pack and something for the pain.”

They parted ways, him veering right into the kitchen while she continued on to the bedroom they shared. She heard a faint beep followed by an unfamiliar voice, different from Noah’s deep baritone, but it was too low for her to make out what was being said. In the bathroom, she slipped into her nightgown and went through her bedtime routine, including rubbing on lavender aromatherapy lotion, hoping it would help her sleep and shake the headache.

When she came out, Noah was waiting with ibuprofen and a glass of water. She swallowed it down and climbed into bed. He covered her to her chin, bent, and kissed her gently on the lips. “It’s early still. I’m going to return a call then watch TV and unwind for a bit.”

“I heard the machine. Was it anything urgent?”

As he hesitated, his eyes flicked to the side, betraying his uncertainty about how much to reveal. When they came back to her, he explained, “It was the case coordinator at SVI. They were looking for a surgeon for a trip leaving for Central America next week.”

“How long would you be gone?”

“A few weeks. But I’m going to decline. It’s too soon.”

Along with the throbbing in her head, her stomach twisted into knots. They’d been together practically around the clock for almost two months. Being apart for a few weeks sounded like an eternity.

But maybe time apart was what he needed. To see if he wanted to go back to how things were before she disrupted his life. It was a monumental shift from his normal, that was for sure.

It was the opposite of Esme’s advice. She couldn’t dig in and be persistent if he wasn’t here. Did she even want to though? If he was just biding his time until he felt she was strong enough after her ordeal, it would only mean worse heartache when he inevitably walked away.

“It sounds like they need you,” she said quietly. “You should go.”

“Fiona. It hasn’t even been a week.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m scheduled to work fifty hours next week—just like old times. And if I need anything, I can call Val or Esme...or my new shrink.”

Yesterday, she’d had her first therapy session with the kink-friendly PTSD specialist Val recommended. She cried like a baby for the entire forty-five minutes. When she left with appointments for two sessions the following week, she felt fortunate she hadn’t ordered a direct admission to the psych ward.

“I’m not going,” he insisted. “I’d feel like I was abandoning you.”

It was like a dagger to her heart, and exactly as she’d suspected. Honor was keeping him by her side. She closed her eyes, struggling hard not to cry. That would just reinforce his belief that she was emotionally fragile and still needed her protector. Guilt and pity were not a basis for a relationship.

“Whatever you decide,” she whispered, rubbing her temples, her head now pounding.

“Rest. We’ll talk about this more tomorrow, when you’re not in pain.”

She grabbed his wrist when he got up to leave. “We’ve both dedicated our careers to helping kids like the ones who need you in Central America. I want you to go. I’d be riddled with guilt if I was the reason they didn’t get the care they needed.”

“Baby...”

Not kitten.

“You should go.” She tried to mask her shaky voice by rolling onto her side and fluffing her pillow, hoping he wouldn’t notice.“This headache is bad, Noah. I’m going to try to sleep it off.”

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