Page 125 of Healing the Heart

“But you didn’t lose me, Noah. You pushed me away.”

The ripple that went through the crowd this time wasn’t as positive or approving.

“I shouldn’t have,” he admitted, his voice strained. “After I lost Claire and Leah, I went through the motions of living for almost two years. When I came out of the fog, I swore I’d never go through that pain again. That’s what I meant when I said I couldn’t go there again. I walled off my heart and guarded it carefully for years until a beautiful, brown-eyed submissive with a throaty voice and the sweetest ass I’ve ever seen entered my world and rejected me twice. Instead of being on the defensive, I led the charge determined to break through to her.”

“You did. Then you walked away. What happened?”

His heart was in his eyes when he answered. “I almost lost you to a maniac with a knife, which is the same way I lost them.”

Her hands flew to her mouth. “Noah, no!”

“I had nightmares of him holding that knife to your throat. Of you in a—” He halted, his voice catching as he shook his head. “They’re too terrible to repeat. Then you said you loved me, and I was torn. Wanting to build a life with you but terrified of going through that living nightmare all over again. I’m not proud of it, but fear won.” He took another two steps forward. “But while baking in the sun and choking on sand and dust in a crude hospital in Northern Africa, I had a heart-to-heart with myself. I’m sick to death of loneliness and regret. And I refuse to let fear rob me of more years of happiness. Whatever time I have left onthis earth, I want to spend every minute of the day showing you how much I love you.”

Then he shocked her and everyone around them by dropping to his knees.

“I’m here to ask your forgiveness, Fiona, and to do what it takes to get you back.”

The groveling was a bridge too far for her. She took a step forward, beseeching him. “Please, get up. There’s nothing to forgive. What you’ve endured is incomprehensible.”

“I love them, and always will, but I finally figured out that doesn’t diminish my capacity to love again. It’s funny. I always thought everyone only got one great love in their life, if that. For some reason, I was gifted with two.”

Fiona’s heart turned over. And she wasn’t alone. There were moreawws, and she definitely heard sniffles behind her. She was on the verge of throwing herself at him and bawling her eyes out, but she had to be sure.

“What about your walls?”

“Decimated. The only reason I’d ever consider building them again wouldn’t be to keep you out. Quite the opposite.”

“You’d lock me in a tower to have me all to yourself?”

“Damn straight. If you’ll have me.”

Drawn to him, she took another step, feeling the magnetic pull between them, but stopped just out of reach with one last lingering doubt.

His frustration bubbled over. “Baby, I don’t know what else I can do to convince you to forgive me.”

“You could try calling me kitten.”

He blinked, appearing both surprised and confused. “But he called you that.”

“Who?”

“Parra, while tormenting you with his knife. When I did afterward, you flinched—violently. I didn’t want something we shared to trigger memories of him, so I stopped.”

“Oh, Noah.” Tears sprang to her eyes as she took the last step, closing the remaining distance between them. She bent to him, her hands framing his beloved face. “I don’t recall flinching, but then I’ve tried to block out most of that awful day. What I remember is feeling cherished every time you called me kitten. I won’t let him take that from me. I want it back.”

His fingers slid into her hair as his palms cradled her cheeks. “Do you also want me back?”

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“My kitten,” he breathed in relief before his mouth covered hers. As he kissed her with the smoldering passion that always robbed her of breath and lucid thought, she heard the audience break into cheers and applause.

Vaguely, she noticed the band resume playing. But she didn’t care about anything except being in his arms.

Suddenly, Noah broke the kiss. His gaze went over her shoulder, and he stared at the stage. Then his head fell back, and he laughed, loud and rich and wonderful. After the last month, where neither of them had much to laugh about, it was welcome, although poorly timed.

Fiona glanced behind her. Elena was behind the mic stand singing away, but nothing stood out as particularly hilarious. Then the lyrics clicked, the old Temptations tune instantly recognizable and apropos for the moment. “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.”

Elena didn’t torture Noah long with it, however, and segued into another of their Motown hits—“When a Man Loves a Woman.”

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