Page 49 of Healing the Heart

She found him sprawled in a big chair in his office, staring out the window. The moment she walked into the room, his eyes shifted to her and tracked her approach.

“You didn’t sleep long. Only a few hours.”

“It was long enough. You said the other night the next move was mine.” She pulled his T-shirt over her head and in only her skimpy bikini panties dropped to her knees before him. “I’m making it, Master Noah. I’m yours, if you can forgive me.”

He sat forward, brows arched in surprise. An instant later, he reached for her, his touch soft when he brushed her hair behind her shoulders, removing the barrier between her mostly naked body and his gaze. When she peeked up at him, his eyes were on her face, his expression troubled.

“Let me make it clear you’d be the first.”

She blinked in confusion. “Weren’t you and Claire in the lifestyle?”

“Yes, that’s how we met, but that isn’t what I meant. It has been eight years since I last made a commitment to a woman, and five since I swore I’d never do it again.”

She placed her hand on his chest. “You loved her... Them,” she quickly amended. “You were heartbroken.”

“At first, but then I let bitterness and anger take over,” he admitted.

“How did they die? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It isn’t something I talk about. Suffice it to say, I went a little off the rails.”

“That’s understandable. I can’t fathom such a loss and can’t say I wouldn’t react the same way.”

“I hope to hell you never have to find out.” In an outpouring of raw emotion, his words spilled out, as if he couldn’t keep them inside any longer. “I broke my arm when I was fourteen and wiped out on a mini-bike. In Afghanistan, I took shrapnel in an IED explosion. But nothing can compare to the gut-wrenching physical pain I felt losing them, and, emotionally, I was wrecked.”

“Noah,” she breathed, hurting for him. Knowing the anguish he experienced was immense and that he obviously stillgrappled with it, she struggled to find the right words to console him.

“I wanted only to escape and did so by filling my life with so much work, quiet moments were rare, and I didn’t have time to sit and dwell, and remember.” His gaze moved over her shoulder to the window, returning to whatever, real or imagined, had held his rapt attention before she interrupted him. “I started the foundation in their names to continue the work Claire dedicated her life to. I joined SVI not only to help children in need but to get out of the city that held so many memories of us. When Rossi opened an office here in LA, and Keiran called needing help, I was all in. And I became a member of Decadence to fill any downtime in between everything else. All of it was a temporary distraction and a pale substitute for the people I loved.”

Suddenly, his eyes cut back to her.

“It’s a cold and lonely way of living and, as I’ve been reminded recently, my life is only half over.”

“Is that why you agreed to Val and Esme’s Kinky Matches? Because you’re lonely?”

“No. I agreed to their cockamamie fix-up service because it’s time I look past the next job or mission, and beyond a scene or a night at a time with no connection and start living again.”

With her? Fiona held her breath. Is that what he was saying?

His hand slid over her cheek and into her hair, cradling her head and ensuring she didn’t look away for the next part.

“I knew it was you they set me up with,” he said softly. “You were the reason I agreed. Periods of high stress and danger aren’t good times to make important decisions, and neither of us should, but you make me want to try again, kitten.”

The intensity of her longing for what he offered caused her chest to tighten and her heart to race, overwhelming her senses. But her brain blasted out a warning. Trying wasn’t a guarantee.Her heart and mouth weren’t paying attention, however. “I’m on my knees hoping you’ll try, too, sir.”

Both hands sank into her hair, his fingers gliding through the waves until they cascaded around her shoulders. One hand tenderly cradled the back of her head, while the other framed her face. With an intense gaze that bored into her soul, he drew her near, so close their breath mingled.

Finally, his lips met hers, gentle and coaxing at first, but when she opened in invitation, it quickly turned heated and hungry. His tongue dipped inside to tangle with her own as his hands explored, igniting a fire within her. It was all she hoped for, and she lost her heart to him then and there.

Suddenly, she was on her feet. Noah’s nimble fingers sliding her panties over her hips and down her legs. His hands glided up the back of her calves, over her thighs, and curled around her bottom. At the same time, his lips kissed their way up the midline of her belly, between her breasts to her throat. There he murmured, “We should slow down.”

“I don’t want to,” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

He lifted her, one big hand supporting her ass, the other sinking into her hair. He whispered softly beneath her ear, “I’ve never seen such a thick mane of hair. It’s as soft as I’d imagined. I love when you wear it loose around your shoulders and watching as it shimmers in the light.”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Watching and wanting. For an entire fucking year. But I knew you wanted more than a scene or one night, so I kept my distance. But a man can only go without what he craves for so long. Then you rejected me—twice.”

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