Page 123 of Breaking Free

Curiosity gnawed at her, along with a desperate need to unravel the mysteries of his past. Her gaze drifted down to the chestnut softness of his beard framing his mouth. Although a kiss was mighty tempting, it would only delay her pursuit of the truth. She resolved to stay strong.

“Go on,” she urged gently.

“It was the worst day of my multiple deployments. We lost two good men, but Nolan’s death hit me harder than I could have ever imagined. We were kids when we met. He was a Nebraska farm boy like me, and we became as close as brothers.”

“What’s in Santa Barbara?” she asked.

“Lydia, Nolan’s widow, and his ten-year-old son, AJ.”

“Oh, Tristan,” she breathed, her heart aching for him amid the guilt she felt for calling him a cheat and a liar.

“He asked me to look after them as he bled out into the dirt. I promised I would, but Lydia was like family, and, with AJ not even two, I would have done it, regardless.”

With tears blurring his image, she gently cupped his face and rested her forehead against his, feeling the weight of his loss. No words were necessary, which was good because she had none to say.

When he continued, his words resonated with his anguish. “Losing him was like losing a part of myself. It was made worse because I was in command of the unit. I was responsible.”

“But you were ambushed! It must have been an impossible situation.”

“That’s what Command said, as did the rest of my team, but I’ll probably always live with guilt thinking I should have done something different.”

“And maybe had a worse outcome,” she challenged.

“I’ll never know for sure, and that’s what I live with.”

She didn’t know how to comfort him. What a horrible burden to bear.

“It was the worst day of my life. My family was gone. Everyone I ever loved. Then, Nolan, my brother. It changed me. I wasn’t an insensitive jerk to my pretty neighbors before then.”

Piper ignored his attempt at teasing. “Your heart was shattered. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to take any more risks.”

Tristan’s fingers tightened on her hips, his sole acknowledgment of her comment. He continued with his story, his speech carrying a sense of desperation as if he had to get it out or burst. Sensing his urgency, she kept quiet and let him.

“When I left the Army, I worked for a private military company. I took every job they threw at me, but it took me too far away from AJ and Lydia. I became a bounty hunter and worked by contract for a while. I was still away a lot, but the assignments were short, and I was never more than a few hours away by plane. Then, I found a place with Rossi. It seemed like the perfect setup. I was only a few hours from Santa Barbara, could work all I wanted to stay busy and play at the club without emotional attachments. I was fulfilling my promise to Nolan and achieving my goal of going through life alone so I wouldn’t have to endure losing someone I cared for again.”

His image wavered through her tears as she whispered, “It hurts my soul to hear you say that.”

He raised a hand to her cheek and gently wiped away one that escaped. “Don’t cry for me, sunshine. Notice I used past tense.”

“What?” she asked on a hitching breath.

“That was my plan until a sweet, beautiful blonde who radiated nothing but sunshine, and looked fantastic in her short shorts and tight pencil skirts—a term I’d never heard of until that day—put a crack in the stone wall I had so carefully constructed around my heart. With each interaction, whether with a smile or a joke or chewing me out in her adorably sweet way, that crack grew bigger until the entire wall came crashing down.”

“What made you visit Lydia today?”

“It was AJ’s birthday, but there was more to it.” He looked down at his hands, his vulnerability palpable, but he fought through it, his steady gaze locking with hers as he continued. “Lydia understands better than anyone because it took her eight years to move on, too. I went, hoping she’d talk me out of rebuilding that wall with bricks and mortar and steel rebar, making it higher and stronger.”

“The other night triggered you,” she guessed.

“Yeah. Almost losing you to a whack job scared the ever-loving shit out of me.”

“Did it work?”

He frowned, not grumpy like she was used to but puzzled. “Did what work?”

“Did Lydia talk you out of it?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m here, and you’re not drowning your sorrows in wine.”

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