“Don’t drag me into this.” I say, flopping down on the chair Erin vacated.
I don’t hold Charlie to the same standards as I would other people. She’s not mean, she’s just immature. And she’s still navigating the distance between cheeky and rude.
Charlie pulls her legs up under her. “Some people just can’t handle a little honesty.”
Reese huffs a dry laugh. “Next time you decide to serve up a little truth bomb, ask yourself three questions. Does this need to be said? Does this need to be saidby me? Does this need to be said by meright now?”
“That’s beautiful.” Charlie says. “Did you read that on Facebook?”
Reese shrugs. “I did, as a matter of fact.”
“Guys. Please.” I say, interrupting further discussion.
Charlie sits back, crossing her arms. “Everybody’s always painting me as the bitch. But the truth is, I really like her.” She looks directly at me. “No, I didn’t kiss her feet at first like everyone else, but I wanted to be loyal to Ana.”
Parker fidgets with her beer bottle. “We all miss Ana, Charlie.”
“I know, I know. It’s just I saw her as a big sister and if someone’s going to replace her, I just wanted to make sure she was worthy of the shoes she’s going to be filling.”
I break out in a cold sweat despite the fire. “Who said anything about replacing Ana?”
All three girls look at me. I can’t stand their matching expressions, a mix of pity and sadness. It makes me feel like a broken thing. It makes me feel weak.
“You’re obviously in love.” Parker says.
I swing my gaze around to her and she shrinks back under its intensity. I try to soften my expression and my voice. “Ana is always going to be the kids’ mother. I’m not trying to replace her.”
“So, what?” Charlie asks. “You’re just going to stay single the rest of your life?”
My heart twists painfully.
This.
This right here is why I don’t open up to these girls. They viciously cut right to the heart of the issue.
And my heart isn’t fit for the light of day.
Reese tilts her head, studying my face. “You love her, don’t you, Josh?”
I shrug, deeply regretting sitting down with them in the first place.
“I have something that needs to be said by me right now.” Charlie skewers me with her dark eyes. “You’re afraid to move on.”
“If by that you mean I’m afraid of hurting the kids while I try to figure things out, then yeah, I’m afraid to move on.”
“Bullshit.” Charlie says. “Stop hiding behind those kids.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re afraid something’s going to happen to her.”
She’s right. And I hate how spot on she is.
“There’s more to it than that. It’s complicated. Ana was the love of my life. You don’t just get over that.”
“We all loved Ana.” Parker says. “But you never looked at her the way you look at Erin.”
I glance at her, wondering where this little truth sayer came from. “And what way is that?”