Page 109 of This Broken Heart

Sunlight breaks through the patchy clouds in brilliant bars of light.

Charlie’s tone softens. “So, what’s the issue?”

“The timing is all wrong.”

“Two years is long enough.”

“A lifetime isn’t long enough.”

She sucks in a deep breath and sits back, letting it out in a whoosh. “Loving someone else doesn’t mean you stop loving her. That’s the thing about the heart. It can stretch. You can make room.”

“I don’t know if I’m capable of that.”

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t try.” Charlie scoots back in her chair, climbing to her feet. “You’re a lot of things, Joshy. But I never took you to be a coward.”

I watch Charlie stomp down the beach, passing in and out of patches of sunlight.

She’s joining Erin, siding with her.

I was certain Charlie had it out for Erin. Turns out, I’m the only one who’s still confused.

The kids love her. They’ve claimed her.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to move on.

I want to.

I want to be whole and unbroken.

I want a time machine.

A fresh start.

“I’m trying, Ana.” I whisper. “I just can’t carry the weight. I don’t know what to do.”

A cool breeze passes through the scrubby sea grass.

A drop of rain lands on my hand. The soft sound of rain surrounds me. The sun shines down in thick bars of light, but rain falls in a fine sheet, painting the sand, pattering against the roof of the house.

Ana called them fox weddings. Rain falling when the sun is shining.

She said they were signs.

Signs of something good.

But that’s when I hear the first scream.

73.

Erin

A breeze rolls off the ocean, tugging at my t-shirt, going right through my joggers. Charlie stomps down the beach, joining Maven and me. She looks the way I feel.

Grumpy.

I offer her a wan smile and we both turn to watch Trace and Parker chase waves. The ocean is choppy this morning, sending foamy licks racing up the beach. Trace runs away, squealing, only to chase the receding waves deeper and deeper into the surf.

“He’s getting soaked.” Charlie comments.

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