Page 30 of This Broken Heart

She smiles, looking nostalgic. “You used to rile the girls up so much and we’d get so mad at you.”

Trace and Maven slip back into the kitchen, obviously bored with the grown-up talk.

Mom bends down, picking up a couch cushion. “You were the goofiest kid. We were sure you’d grow up to be a comedian or an actor.”

I help her clean up the living room. “Yeah, right.”

She pauses, a cushion in her arms. “I’m serious, Joshy. We really thought you were destined for the stage. But then puberty hit and you sort of grew out of it.”

“Oh, God, mom. Don’t start talking about puberty.”

She pauses. “I never thought I’d get to see this side of you again. It’s nice.”

I shake my head, picking up the rest of the pillows. She acts like I never horse around with my kids. But admittedly, this evening did get a little out of control. Erin’s had that effect on us, though. If she’s not singing Disney songs at the top of her lungs, she’s got the kids dancing and spinning.

It’s like she’s breathing life into this old house. She’s breathing life into all of us. Myself included.

She makes it safe to be as loud and goofy as we want.

Throwing the last of the pillows back into place, I glance at my mom. Did I really change that much when I was a kid?

I do remember how hard it was to walk the tightrope between masculinity and childhood. Thank God for my friends. We would occasionally get silly together, but I remember there being an intense pressure to grow up.

I can hear Trace singing with Erin in the kitchen. A heavy weight settles on my shoulders at the thought of Trace going through the same thing.

Mom pats my arm. “I’m going to go help Erin with supper. I haven’t gotten to spend much time with her yet. Something tells me I should get to know her.”

19.

Erin

I pull up to the big house, making note of the half dozen trucks and cars parked in the lane. Lisa comes down the porch, opening the car door for me. “Thank God.”

“Good to see you, too.” I grin at her, unnerved by the wired look in her eyes.

“How was your Thanksgiving?”

“Good. We got together with my aunts in Kearney.”

“And they didn’t mind you flitting back to Clark the next day?”

I shrug. “Mom and her sisters are all nurses. They had to work today, anyway.”

Lisa nods, but she looks distracted.

I crane my head, trying to decipher the look on her face. “Are you feeling okay, Lisa?”

She meets my gaze. “I have a confession to make.”

“Okay.” I say slowly.

“I might have twisted Josh’s arm a little… to get you here today.”

“Okay, that answers some questions. He was a little weird about asking me.”

“It’s just Keith’s family is a lot, and I just wanted back up. And you’re such a calming presence, I thought maybe you’d rub off on them.”

I turn on heel, pretending to go back to my car. She flutters after me and I let her pull me up the steps. The truth is, Josh is paying me time and a half to be here. It’s a nice little bonus right before Christmas and I didn’t have anything else going on.

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