Page 101 of The Best Kind of Bad

I hold my hand out. “I’ll take them to him. No problem.”

“Oh, you’re such a peach. I’ll be in touch about Clark.”

I watch her go, afraid to look at the printouts in my hand. There’s no explanation for this that doesn’t make my heart ache. But my brain is searching, anyway. Eventually, I force myself to flip through the pages. Apartments. Small houses in Clark. Two bedrooms. One for Dusty. One for Sienna.

Why?

I climb into my car, staring into space. Eventually, I grab my cellphone and filter through email. Listen to voicemail. I’ve got one from the attorney asking me to call him back. Trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in my stomach, I call Carl’s number. He picks up right away.

“Hi, Carl.”

He sounds short of breath. “Hi, there, darlin’. I was just checking in. I never did hear back from you two about the appraisers. They need your signature of agreement before they move on.”

“The what?”

“Didn’t Dusty mention the appraisal?” He sighs. “I passed the names along and you can ask him, but the way it works is we have three appraisers give a value on your land and we average them. It’s the fairest way to do it. And before they can get started, we all have to agree on who does the appraisal. You want to make sure they’re neutral parties.”

I pause. “Carl… I’m not so sure I want to sell anymore.”

“You’re not?” His voice is flat when he asks that. “Well, Marnie, you’ll want to decide quick. If we get that ground appraised and you change your mind, that’s a few thousand out of your pocket you’ll never see again.”

“It’s just that I’m thinking about renting.”

“If I can be honest? I think renting is your best bet in the long run. But I understand why you’re thinking about selling.” He pauses. “But, if you’re thinking about renting for Dusty’s sake, you don’t need to. That kid will land on his feet. Hell, he’s already got a job lined up with a buddy of mine. Starts in August.”

“He does?”

“He does.”

A chill trickles down my spine. Like cold water. He’s leaving the farm? Leaving me?

If it’s not with Dusty, I don’t have any interest in Silver Bend. He’s the lifeblood of that dream. Without him, I’d be a boat without a rudder. “Okay. I’ll get back to you soon. I promise.”

I hang up and look up and down the empty street.

Silver Bend.

Not even big enough to have a stoplight.

Was it really only two months ago that I first drove through here, in a hurry to get back to Lincoln? I never expected to find friends here. A home.

Never thought I’d find love.

Trying to separate Dusty from the idea of moving to Silver Bend feels like trying to take off a limb.

Hearing that he’s got another job lined up gives me whiplash.

I’m betting it all goes together. The appraisal. Carl and his damn job.

What I can’t understand is why Dusty was so quick to throw in the towel. I want to know why he didn’t talk to me first.

But in fairness, the idea of bringing it up with him makes me nauseous.

My dad used to say don’t ask a question if you don’t want to hear the answer.

I could ask Dusty if he’s all in on the idea of us. But what if he said no? I couldn’t blame him. What twenty-five-year-old wants to get saddled with a woman ten years his senior?

My heart is aching, falling apart in my chest.

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