Can’t be good, whatever it was.
He stares ahead, before turning to look at me with a stony look on his face. “I told her.”
My stomach twists. “Told who what?”
But I know.
Deep down, I know.
Damn it all to hell.
His expression is grim. “I don’t have anything against you, kid.”
I bark a laugh.
His nostrils flare. “But she has a right to know.”
“And you decided you were the man for the job.”
“You bet your ass I am.”
I tilt my head. My first thought is why would he insert himself? Guys will play dirty to get their hands on farm ground, but this is low even for the buzzards around here. And then it clicks into place. “Because of Naomi Novak?”
His jaw hardens. “If nobody else will look out for her daughter, I will.”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“It probably ain’t.” He barks a laugh. “But even so, I don’t feel bad. She needed to know. I told her all about your brush with crime.”
A cold feeling of shame settles over my shoulders like a heavy mantle.
Yes. I did that.
I stole from the man who saved our lives. I stole from Gus, and he offered me his hand.
It was the single greatest lesson I’ve ever learned in my life. It’s also my greatest shame.
And just like that, I’m seventeen again. A scared kid watching his mother fade away. Bills to pay. No food in the kitchen. Can’t afford the meds we need to keep a mother’s agony at bay.
I had to do something. Runner was already gone. I was the man of the house. I’d get my hands dirty if that meant keeping Sienna clothed and fed. If that meant easing my mother’s pain.
And Juice knew a guy.
With just an hour’s work, I could make enough cash to pay for mom’s meds and a month’s worth of groceries.
I did it. And I’m ashamed of it. But I’m not sure what choice I could have made.
My honor and integrity were a small sacrifice in the face of what we were dealing with.
I’ve never been one of those men who will put their own sense of righteousness over another’s suffering.
But still, I didn’t tell Marnie.
She might have understood, if I could have been the one to tell her.
I was a coward, though. And now I’ve missed my chance. All I can do is play catch up.
Jerry shakes his head. “I take no pleasure in it, son. It ain’t your fault your daddy was a lowlife. You didn’t choose your family, but you can choose what kind of life you’re going to lead.”