Page 16 of Undeniable

“Papa?” He asks.

“Yeah buddy?” I ask from the doorway.

“Am I ever going to get a mommy?”

I feel like I just got punched straight in the gut. I knew that questions about this kind of thing were going to come up eventually, but I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be for a while. I have always been transparent that his mommy lives with Jesus and that she watches over him every day. I want him to always know that his mother was taken, she didn’t leave us by choice and that she is always looking out for us.

“What do you mean? You have a mommy,” I say carefully.

“She is my heaven mommy. Will I have an Earth mommy? Like one that will read to me and play with me like Aunt Ashlynn does with Seraphina?”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. I genuinely never thought that Alessandro was missing anything in his life. I always thought that because he was just an infant when Izzy died that he wouldn’t miss her like I do. Now I see that it is worse. I have good memories to look back on that I had with her, where all Alessandro has is stories from Luca and I. In his head, she is the woman who birthed him, but she won’t be the woman who raised him. My heart fucking shatters across the hardwood floor at the reminder of all that we both lost that horrific night.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly as I try to swallow over the growing lump in my throat.

“Oh,” he says disappointedly.

“I love your mommy very much, Alessandro. I don’t think that I could ever love anyone as much as I do her.”

“But maybe, you could love someone differently, right?”

I bite my lip as I scour my brain for something profound and comforting, but nothing comes to mind.

“Maybe.”

He gives me a disappointed frown and nods. I lean over and kiss him one more time before I turn off his light and shut the door. My body slumps against his door and my head thunks against the solid wood. I feel like a fucking failure to my son. He wants a mom. Of course he does. I don’t know what my life would have been like if I didn’t have my own mother growing up.

I go to bed that night, frustrated, conflicted but most of all, sad.

Chapter Seven

Tasha

A few more days pass by filled with heated stares, lingering touches and suffocating sexual tension. I find myself thrown off each day that I am around Giovanni Cordova. I know that I need to maintain my distance, keep my head down. I know that looking a hungry wolf in the face and covering myself with barbecue sauce only leads to pain, but why am I so tempted to do just that.

If it wasn’t for his hot and cold attitude towards me, I have no doubt in my mind that I would have already fallen between his sheets in a heartbeat. Not sure if that speaks to just how long it has been for me or how much this man has gotten under my skin so quickly.

He isn’t the only one getting to me, though. In such a short amount of time Alessandro has become a huge part of my life. He brightens each day for me and when I am with him, I feel a greater sense of purpose fulfilled that I didn’t realize I was missing. I know I am getting way too comfortable way too fast, but I can’t help it. The Cordova men charm seems to be irresistible.

Last night I got a curt text message from Giovanni before I fell asleep.

Giovanni: Take the day off tomorrow. I am not working.

I responded quickly.

Me: Okay. Everything okay? Either of you sick or something?

His response was simple.

Giovanni: No.

Well, alrighty then.

Deciding to take advantage of my unexpected day off, I take the wad of cash that I have saved so far from my little bit of work and decide to go out and get some things. I am out of pretty much all toiletries, and I could definitely use a couple new outfits.

I know I shouldn’t spend anything more than necessary. I should save as much as possible for as long as possible to set myself up for the next move. But the thought of leaving twists my stomach into knots, so I push the thought away and think about all of the money that I will make next week to replenish instead.

Once I do my shopping, having the 6 oversized bags to prove it, I decide that I better call it a day before I spend every last penny that I have earned. As I am walking back to Becca’s apartment, I stop on the sidewalk and lift my sunglasses to rest on top of my head when I look in the window of a store. It is a high-end art gallery store. They have several expensive looking paintings as well as supplies lining the walls.

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