Page 54 of Undeniable

“I am sorry that I have been distant. I just, I never thought that I would find someone again. Someone who makes me feel so…”

“Alive,” I finish, inferring my own feelings. Because that is what I finally feel when I with Giovani Cordova.Alive.

He looks a little surprised for a second before he nods.

“Exactly. I have felt an immense amount of guilt for the feelings I have for you. But I am coming to see that it is stupid. I care about you Tasha and I want to be with you, in every way shape and form. I don’t know what I can give you honestly or what I can promise you, but I know that I can promise the very best of me, which admittedly might not be that great, but it is all that I have.”

“Gio,” I say softly as I squeeze his hand. “I want all of you. Every single part.”

His smile is one of relief as he lifts my hand to his and places a gentle kiss to the back of it. His thumb begins to trace over the sensitive skin of my wrist, his eyes honing in on the action before he speaks.

“There is something else I wanted to talk about.”

Unease prickles along my skin as I try to remain calm, though I already fear I know where this is going.

“Your past,” he starts as his eyes flick up to mine.

I do my best to give nothing away but whose to know how convincing I am at this point. Gio seems to be able to read me like a damn book most days.

“I don’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable. I just can’t help but feel like there are things that you aren’t telling me. All I know is that you are from California, and that you are running from someone. That isn’t much to go on for the person that I want to share my life with.”

I bite my lower lip as I nod. I know that the truth has to come out eventually. I just want eventually to be delayed for a bit. Is that so wrong?

“You can trust me,” he urges. “I promised you that I will keep you safe, that wasn’t just a physical promise. I know that there are things that you have not dealt with fully. I want to help, to be there for you. Just, let me in.”

I stare into his bright eyes for a few moments as I contemplate what to do. I could spill my guts all over this table and hope that he still cares for me by the end. Or I could continue to play dumb and hope that he doesn’t get royally pissed off by my bullshit. Neither seems like a great option though.

“I do trust you, Gio. I just need a little more time. I promise that one day, I will tell you everything you want to know. I just need a little more time.”

He sighs as his eyes look back at our intertwined hands for a moment before he nods.

“Okay. Do you think that I could get that in writing?”

I laugh softly as I nod which causes him to smile. Soon we are heading back to the house for the night and though I am happy to be on the same page as Gio, a sense of dread begins to set it that I can’t shake. Ever since I saw Alec, it is like a cold bucket of ice water has been dumped on me. I can’t have a foot in two lives. I have to choose, and I did. I chose Gio and Alessandro. I just hope that it was the right choice.

Chapter Twenty One

Giovanni

I am feeling the best that I have in a long time the today. I took Tasha out last night, and while she didn’t open up to me like I was hoping, she did seem like she wanted to. Like maybe she would someday soon. I am trying to respect her privacy enough to let her come to me, but it is fucking hard.

I am not an idiot. I know that if there is no record of anything then that means she is probably mixed up in some bad shit. I want to help. I just need to know how. She is clearly dealing with more than she can handle, so why the fuck won’t she let me help her?

It is things like with what happened at the Zoo. I know that nothing would ever come from confronting her about it, but we both know that I saw through her flimsy excuse about getting lost. The whole damn Zoo heard me frantically calling out her name, so that is total bullshit.

She was right there with us one minute and the next, nowhere to be found. Diego, the solider that was in charge of watching after Tasha while we were out, got a few stern words later that night as well as became well acquainted with my left fist. I don’t think that he will be wondering off to take a piss without telling anyone again anytime soon.

It honestly kinda hurt me that something happened, whatever it was, and she felt like she had to hide it from me. That she had to lie to me. It kind of shook me and freaked me out. I started to think that maybe I was the only one doing the falling. Maybe I was the only one opening up parts of myself that I haven’t shared with anyone before, besides Izzy.

Last night though, I could see it in her eyes. She wants to let me in. She just needs time and maybe a little subtle nudging.

Since the piece of shit from the docks, we gotten a thing on the Chernoff’s which makes me extra fucking nervous. Ashlynn was supposed to go to Milan for some meetings with her suppliers, but Luca put a stop to that immediately. Nothing good ever comes from your enemy going radio silent after a direct attack. It means that they are re-grouping, strategizing and none of that is good for us.

I just got done doing my rounds for the day, checking in with some of our Capo’s on some leads, which unfortunately all led to dead ends. We just have to stay alert and be on the defense. It is unfortunately our only option for the time being.

I stopped by the store on my way back to the house and grabbed a bouquet of sunflowers. Tasha had mentioned before that they are her absolute favorite so I knew that they would make her smile. I don’t even care anymore. I have officially embraced my inner pussy with this girl, and I love every minute of it.

I hop out of the car with a smile on my face as I grab the bouquet before walking through the door. My smile quickly slides off of my face when I hear Ashlynn screaming through the house.

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