Page 38 of Broken Destiny

I stretch my hand across the table and leave my palm up, hoping she’ll take the hint. She does, and my body sighs in contentment when her small, soft hand fits into mine. My thumb traces a trail over the pulse in her wrist. I’m not hungry at the moment, but her blood still calls to me. It has since the moment I met her.

“I don’t feel trapped,” I tell her with the utmost sincerity. “I knew exactly what I was signing when I put my name in the book. I don’t need to feed as often as created vampires because I can eat real food as well.” It all tastes like sawdust to me, but I don’t tell her that. She doesn’t need to know that the only flavor I recognize is blood. After listening to some humans, I liken the taste to something addictive like chocolate or sugar.

She sighs heavily, and the smells of coffee and sugary cereal mingle with the scent of her body. Humans are sometimes irritated by those little odors, but every sensation she offers is like turning a page in the book that is her. All of it brings her closer to me.

“I don’t understand why,” she says in a small voice.

My hand tightens around hers, memorizing the shape of her slim fingers and the width of her wrist. “You have freed me. I’ve been unwanted my entire life, since the moment I was born.” I allow the suffering I’ve endured to bleed into my tone. I wouldn’t reveal this vulnerability to just anyone, but she deserves all of me. “Not only was I not supposed to be born, but the woman who bore me died in childbirth, as does anyone who manages to carry a vampire child to term. Born vampires can be useful and powerful if reared in the right way. Thankfully, my lack of sight made me unsuitable for such training. Unfortunately, it also forced me into a life of isolation and loneliness.”

Her energy emits compassion and sympathy, and I place my other hand over hers, clasping her warmth between mine. “I don’t say these things to garner your pity, Zosia. I want you to know exactly how you’ve saved me. I was given very little attention and affection as a child. Thankfully, an old woman in the kitchens of the manor where I served took me under her care. Without her, I would have never known love or compassion. I would have grown into a hardened shell, as most children do when they've never been shown the beautiful side of interaction between people. After a time, I grew to accept what I am and the limitations it imposed. It’s the only way I’ve survived this long. I have taken comfort from others, I won’t deny that. But from the moment I met you, I knew I would belong only to you.”

“Don’t say that.” The grimace on her face is apparent in her tone. “I don’t want you as a possession, Avery. I want you as a companion and a partner.”

I smile, hoping she can sense the sincerity in my voice. “And I will be both of those to you, Zosia. But my heart is my own, and I can choose who to give it to. You have mine already. I realize we just met, but the moment you told me you wanted me, flaws and all, I knew there would be no one else.”

The silence stretches between us. She never found the acceptance I did. She doesn’t believe in who she is, with or without her perceived limitations. But it’s not something that can never be obtained. Her role here, along with her guardians, will help her find it and keep it. I squeeze her hand gently. “I know this is strange for you, but we’ll go slowly until you understand that you deserve everything which is freely given.”

She huffs out a breath. “I want you to use me,” she says quickly. “For your needs...For blood...Ah, shit, why is this so hard?”

I raise her hand to my mouth. She tenses briefly as if she thinks I’m going to rip into her skin immediately. It’s not fear I sense with my predatory senses, and I ignore the rush of blood her anticipation sends to my nether regions. Practicing restraint, I brush my lips against her knuckles and lower her hand back to the table.

“When you’re ready,” I say simply. The thought of feeding from her sends me into a haze of lust and hunger that I have to push aside. Just knowing she was watching Bren and I yesterday had nearly killed me, but it also settled my resolve. With Bren willing, I don’t need to go elsewhere. It will allow her all the time she needs to adjust.

“But if you’re hungry…” she stammers again.

“I don’t need to feed often,” I reassure her. “Once a week is enough to sustain me if I’m eating normal food. Please, Zosia, there is so much that you have to worry about and focus on right now. It will come in its own time.” I pause. “I do have one request.”

Her hand stills in mine. She already trusts me whether she realizes it or not, but she’s still unsure of herself. She doesn’t know whether she can provide me with what I want and need. In time, she’ll grow to understand that her presence is really all I require.

“What?”

“I’d like to touch you, specifically your face. It helps me picture you in my mind.”

“Of course.” Her words are breathy as she shifts in her chair, turning toward me and bumping her knee against mine. The beat of her heart increases, and her scent shifts. It becomes tinged with an expectation that nearly crumbles my resolve to move slowly. She lifts my hand to her face, and I lean closer as I map the contours of her forehead and cheeks, tracing the sweep of her lashes and the line of her jaw. Being born blind, I don’t have much reference for how to picture people, but I’ve traced enough faces that I can imagine them. Her nose is slim and perfect, her lashes are long and thick, her lips delightfully plump. I can’t wait to taste them. Her breath catches as I trace the curve of her mouth, and my body immediately responds.

“You’re beautiful,” I whisper as my hand trails down the sweep of her neck and encounters the thick rope of hair. Golden brown, Kodi said, just like the color of her aura. I’m certain it shines in the light as vividly as her energy. Her unwillingness to believe my compliments is evident, but I place a finger on her lips before she can contradict me. “To me, you are beautiful. You shine with an inner light that is gorgeous no matter the contours of your face.”

Her pulse speeds up again. I lean forward, using my fingertips to lead me to her lips. When she sighs against the gentle brush of my mouth, my entire body comes alive with arousal and fierce protectiveness. She clings tighter to my hand when I pull away, but I don’t let her draw me back to her.

“If I start kissing you now, I won’t be able to stop,” I whisper, my face still so close to hers that I can feel her breaths waft across my skin. She nods, her hair brushing against my arm, and my fingers tighten just a little on her chin. It hurts to let her go. My body instantly misses her smooth skin and warmth as I finally release her.

“You will tell me, won’t you?” she asks, a catch in her breath that does nothing for the tightness in my jeans or the resolve to not kiss her senseless. “If you need me?”

“I shall always need you, Zosia,” I murmur. “But yes, I shall also tell you when I’m hungry again.”

“Good,” she whispers with a flutter in her aura that indicates a nod.

I rise with as much decency as I can, considering the effect she has on my anatomy, and follow the others to the main library. She needs a moment, and I will give her that. When I emerge into the main library, the others are waiting. I sense their curiosity, but any man will realize I didn’t take her to bed and I’m not flushed from feeding, so I let them draw their own conclusions. Just because we share her does not mean we need to share every moment. I decide it’s for the best, especially when the shifter’s jealousy tinges the air. He will need some time to come to terms with our arrangement, but it’s not only up to him. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold out.

Once I need to feed again, it won’t be so easy to let her go.

Chapter Nineteen

Zosia

My body throbs with need and a strange craving I’ve never felt in reaction to any male before yesterday. I shift on my seat, glad that I’m alone because I’d be mortified for anyone to see me like this. The effect that Avery has on me should be illegal. All the men have the same effect on me, actually, but Avery is the latest example. His simple touch, his whispered words, and his chaste kiss simply left me begging for more. It’s almost too much to bear.

Behind my desire sits a strange sense of rightness that wars with the idea that these men are practically bound to me. Needing a minute to compose myself, I sit back in the chair and close my eyes. The library and its goblin guardians expect me to shift. A couple of the men I just met are relying on me for all their needs: blood, companionship, sex? I’m sure it qualifies as a need. I’m not sure I want the responsibility. I’ve always been content reading books; I don’t have to be the heroine.

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