Page 48 of Broken Destiny

Duggar, who must have appeared when I was deep in my memories, gives me a meaningful look, and I know what he’s asking. I nod and slowly pull away from Avery, loathe to leave his heat and comfort. He hasn’t said a thing, although I’m sure he must be confused. I’ll explain everything, but there’s something I have to do first.

The minute I reach for my crutches, Bren and Garrett are both there, helping me with a hand under each arm. I don’t get irritated about it like I might have earlier. Their emotions are nearly palpable. They’re both horrified and ashamed of the things their father has done, even though they don’t know the half of it yet. Before I return to the middle of the library, I give them each a half-smile and gently squeeze their hands.

“I don’t blame you,” I murmur, making they know I’m speaking to both of them.

“He will pay,” Garrett growls, each word causing the hair to rise on my arms as it buzzes with conviction.

I turn my gaze to him. “He will, but in time. Don’t let vengeance rule your soul or you’ll become like him.”

“I’m nothing like him,” he grunts, but I can tell he’s taken my words to heart. I don’t blame him, but Garrett looks so much like his father. I don’t know how long it will be before the flashes of memory I get every time I look at his face stop. And Kodi might never forgive either of them. He’s been cursed by Addington to haunt me, and he didn’t even remember until now. He has a right to be angry with all three of us. It’s my fault that his sister probably died in that horrible place. I have no doubt that the operation continues until this day. A man like Addington wouldn’t stop because of one failed pet. I imagine it simply made him more determined. After chasing them off library property, the next step is figuring out what they’re doing with the magic they take from the supes.

I crutch toward the middle of the library. I’m no longer angry about my injuries. It could have been worse. A human probably would have lost both their legs. Loss of a limb I could have dealt with. Loss of my magic? That’s not something I would have been able to bear. All in all, I consider myself lucky now that I know the full story.

“Are you going out there?” Bren asks carefully, his pale eyes wary as the three remaining guardians join me in the open space before the circulation desk.

I nod, swallowing the fear that closes my throat. “I’ll stay on the steps. They can’t hurt me if I don’t go down.”

“What if they pull you off the steps?” Garrett asks, his gaze dark with worry. I don’t want him to love me just because he feels he has to atone for his father’s wrongs, and I could imagine an honorable man like him doing so. It’s only one of the many things we need to talk about after I manage the immediate threat.

“They won’t,” I say confidently and close my eyes.

She’s here; she always has been, because she is me. Unlike other shifters, my beast is not separate from me because I retain part of my human form after I shift. She’s just a piece of my soul that I’ve ignored for too long. I remember why I forced myself to forget. No one would consider me anything other than human if I didn't shift in years. And I wasn’t safe to change from one form to another until I got here - where I’m meant to be. I understand that now, and it’s remarkably easy to remember the process of becoming one with my sphinx.

Gilly and Duggar were right, though. It hurts. With my human body so crooked and bent, my muscles and bones scream with agony when I try to shift. My back aches as the wings attempt to bypass the thick scar tissue built upon them from repeated carvings into my flesh. Pain stabs and pierces through my legs as the magic tries to heal me instead of shift. If I concentrate on that, though, it will only end in sorrow. My body is meant to remain a little broken. They didn’t break the strongest part of me. My spirit is still intact. The broken pieces do not define me. They make me stronger. In time, our enemies will realize that.

When regular shifters change, it’s relatively dull. Their bodies shudder and shimmer with magic; only the most inexperienced shifters feel pain or face difficulties. The agony bites me, my nerves crawl like fire ants under the skin of my legs, and my back feels as if it’s cracking open. Tears leak from my closed eyes. My vision blackens and fades as the worst of the pain floods through me, stealing the breath from my lungs.

I’m hunched over with pain as the three men hover anxiously, but I can’t offer them any comfort. They can’t help me. Kodi’s strange magic might have assisted, but he’s gone and death stole his magic. I borrow a sliver of the library’s power to quicken the shift. Sage, a combination of the compiled magic and wisdom of my ancestors, helps my body merge into a form it hasn’t taken in years.

When I come to, it’s by degrees. The first thing I notice is that I’m lower to the ground. Next, my enhanced senses assault me. Avery’s unique smell I’ve repeatedly tried to identify is jasmine. Bren smells like the sky before a storm and the wind through the trees, comforting and wild.

Garrett is spicy and musky, the odor of something feline under his human form that my cat wants to inspect more closely. Remembering the ominous howl and imagining Kodi’s last minutes, I’m grateful that he isn’t a wolf like his father. He isn’t his father, I remind myself again.

Under the shifter’s scent of spicy musk is compassion. I cling to it. If anyone were to ask what compassion smelled like, I would say it smells like the sun - the warm embrace of a summer day with no cares and love all around. Or maybe a wood fire - cozy nights and snow falling outside. I suppose there’s no single description for it, and I wonder if my particular comparisons come from those years I still can’t remember, before I was captured. Did I feel compassion then? I must have at some point. Kodi was the only other being to show me kindness.

The books smell like ink, paper, and possibilities. The library itself smells of magic and home. I hear every small creak of wood and the heartbeats of the men. My spine shivers as I shake out my new body, and I twist my head to look at the glorious wings…my wings…that protrude from my furry back. Larger ears twitch upon my head. My mouth is full of teeth that are sharper than usual. I run my tongue across the tip of one experimentally, surprised at the lethality of the points.

And my legs. I look down to where I’m sitting on my haunches. One is stretched out to the side because I can’t fold it properly beneath me. The bottom of the leg is still crooked, but as I bring myself to all fours and attempt to put pressure on them, elation flows through me. I can walk. It might be with a limp and might become painful after a day or so of being somewhat upright, but I can walk; four legs are evidently better than two. Freedom pours through me at the thought. The animal in me wants to run and stretch out muscles I haven’t used in too long.

Remembering the urgency of the situation, I force my attention to the moment. The men surround me, their eyes wide. Bren is the first to recover, his pale eyes warm with pleasure and fascination. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers. My cat preens at the praise. As my shoulders lift, I realize my breasts are fairly visible. I should be ashamed, but the shifter part of me lords over the human in that aspect. The fur of my lion form stretches all the way to my neck and onto my jaw. It covers my breasts almost like a shirt. I don’t feel as naked as I thought I might.

“He’s right. You’re magnificent,” Garrett breathes. His beast is curious but not frightened, and he’s not trying to alpha me, which is good. I don’t think I could let anyone dominate me, not until I feel like I have my emotions under control and am far away from my horrid memories.

“I wish I could see you,” Avery whispers. His beautiful quicksilver eyes are wide with awe as if he can sense there’s a change. I prowl toward him, the hitch in my gait noticeable but manageable. My short fur rubs along his legs, my shifter subconsciously covering him with my scent. His pale hand strokes my back, carefully skimming over the thick feathers tucked against my body. He caresses my hair as well; my braid trails along my back, nestled between the protrusions of my wings.

I want to lie down and let him pet me.

“Sphinxes are not just shifters,” I manage to say after a couple failed attempts of trying to speak around my altered teeth. “We are magic.” I feed him an image of a sphinx - not myself, because I haven’t properly examined my form, but of Sage. “This is the form my ancestors take,” I explain when he gasps and nearly pulls away from me. “The image I’m sending you isn’t me, but it’s close.”

Avery’s perfect lips tilt into a wistful, awed smile. “I would like to see you one day,” he murmurs, his voice thick with reverence and wonder.

“Once I see myself, I can modify the image I send.”

“How?” Garrett asks simply.

I shrug; the gesture is strange with my leonine shoulders. “Magic,” I whisper, fully aware that my smile is predatory when I flash my sharp teeth at him. He doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, I can tell by the spark in his eyes and the shift in his scent that this form appeals to his beast, even if I’m not the same species. Wild calls to wild.

The library nudges me, its wishes clearer now that I’ve tapped into my power. “I have to protect our home. Stay here.”

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