Page 22 of Bronx

"Layla, look at me."

She lifted her face. Glassy brown eyes peered up at me.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Layla. We didn't do anything wrong. We're two consenting adults. Neither of us is married."

She nodded and rolled onto her back. Instantly, I felt lonely not having her in my arms. Was this how it would be, now that I'd had her there? Would I permanently feel desolate and alone when she wasn't with me?

"I've never slept with anyone else except Adam." Her voice wavered. "For awhile, near the end, it sometimes felt that sex was all we had between us, the only glue that still held us together."

I wanted badly to reach over and touch her, only this time, I held back. She didn't want any words earlier, but it seemed now she was ready to talk. And I was ready to listen . . . even if it meant I might hate what she concluded at the end of it all.

"My last girlfriend, Carly, that was all we had too," I said. "We stuck it out for longer than we should have just because we weren't ready to give up the physical part of our relationship."

She was silent. The tears had stopped. I couldn't read what she was thinking. Then she turned to me. "Here I am crying about this whole thing, and now I'm jealous of your ex-girlfriend. Jealous that she had you all to herself. Jealous that she broke your heart, or, at least, it sounds that way when you talk about her."

Somehow this had flipped to my therapy session. I thought about what she said, about how I sounded when I talked about Carly. Had she broken my heart? I sat up in the bed and leaned against the headboard. "It wasn't heartbreak so much as just a big disruption in my existence. You get used to having someone around—" I stopped my sentence. "Shit, Layla, I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say."

"No don't apologize." She pushed up to sit next to me. She dragged the sheet up to shield her naked body from the cool air in the room. Her hand covered mine. "Just because I lost Adam through death, and Carly is still alive—" She raised her smooth brow at me. "She is still alive, I assume?"

"Nope, have her buried out back." I rubbed my face. "Sorry, terrible joke. As far as I know she is living on the beach with a new guy. I'm happy she's moved on. I've tried to do the same, but there was someone else keeping me from falling in love again."

Layla was genuinely confused. She turned slightly toward me. "Really? Who?"

I looked at her. The moonlight had passed by the window, but I knew her face so well, even in the shadowy light, I could see it perfectly. "Seriously? You, Layla. I've been so hung up on you, I haven't been able to consider anyone else."

A long, awkward pause followed.

"See, this is generally where the other person sitting in the bed says, oh me too, Jack. I haven't been able to consider anyone else."

She leaned her head against my shoulder. "I think you already know that's true. Unless your ego needs a little stroking."

"Nah, now it would just feel forced."

Our laughter floated around through the shadows.

"How about we just don't tell anyone," Layla said quietly. "Do you think our consciences could bear it? I mean, it would be harder for you. I hardly ever see any of Adam's friends, except for Gabe."

"Helix does seem to consider it his duty to keep me out of your life but—" I considered what she was saying. It would be hard to keep secret. At the same time, it would definitely be a secret worth keeping.

"I know you guys talk all about your conquests and what not," she said. "Maybe you could just give me a different name and then make excuses for me whenever they ask why you don't bring your girlfriend to a party or social event."

I laughed. "Then they'd start calling me a loser and tease me that my girlfriend was just a figment of my imagination. Although, I'm all right with that. Let them think I've made Ginger up."

She lifted her head and peered over at me. "Ginger? There's not one inch of me that looks like a Ginger." She relaxed back. "I rather fancy myself a Diana." She shivered and scooted closer. "The room is cold."

"Think we can find a way to get warm again." We scrunched back under the covers, and I pulled her into my arms. We kissed. It wasn't the urgent, wild kisses from earlier. This was more of a kiss between people who had suddenly found someone who they could just kiss for the sake of showing affection.

Layla opened her big eyes. "Jack, do you think this whole idea, you know, just not telling anyone is going to sound totally ludicrous in the morning?"

I trailed my hand down her back, memorizing every curve of muscle. "That does seem to be the case with plans hatched in the middle of the night, but for our sake, I hope to hell it doesn't."

I rolled her onto her back and lowered myself down over her. My mouth covered hers as I slid deep inside of her. "I could stay inside of you all night," I whispered.

"Oh, Jack."

17

Acoffee cup clinking against the counter woke me from a sound sleep. It was early, so early that the light was still mostly bathed in shadows. One thing was clear though, Layla was no longer next to me. I pulled on my jeans and plodded barefoot and shirtless to the kitchen. Layla was dressed and pouring herself coffee.

---