Page 8 of Bronx

I directed my next comments at both of them. "Why didn't anyone ask why I volunteered to help bring him down the steep mountainside to the helicopter? No one back then said 'hey but you guys had a fist fight so why are you helping him?' Despite our differences, Bulldozer and I were members of the same team." I turned to Kaos because Helix had lifted his phone, pretending not to listen and that was fucking fine with me. "How many fist fights have you gotten into with those boulder sized fists? Tempers flare and fights happen. To all of us." I glanced toward Helix. He was still thumbing across his phone. It was quite an act considering how tightly clamped he held his jaw.

"You're right, Bronx. Give me some love, eh?" Kaos held out his massive arms for one of his rib crushing bro hugs. I wasn't falling for it. He tended to squeeze so hard, the wind pushed out of you.

I lifted my hand. "No worries. Not in the mood for broken ribs this morning. I'll blow you a kiss on the way out."

Kaos left the room. I turned to my locker. One of the pockets on my jumpsuit had a hole that needed mending or I risked losing my trail mix in the wilderness.

"You know she'll be there, right?" Helix said as I dug out my jumpsuit.

I shut the locker door and looked at him. I knew who he was talking about, but I wasn't in a mood to get into it with him.

"If you're talking about Layla, considering she was married to Bulldozer, it's pretty easy to assume she'll be at the memorial." I pretended to not care, but I was battling with my own demons about it. I hadn't seen Layla since the funeral. After Bulldozer's death, she decided to escape the west and his friends and family by accepting a nursing position in New York. A year had passed, but deep down, I knew I badly wanted to see her, just to see how she was doing. After we spoke on the island, we'd sent emails back and forth. She had started the conversation after pulling my email out of the team's directory. She'd sent me helpful links and articles about new, advanced treatment for cancer. Layla and I had seen each other at a few social events between our first meeting, that awesome few minutes on the island, and Bulldozer's funeral. Every time I saw her, it took me weeks to shake her out of my system. And, even then, she still lingered, her smile, her flawless skin, her laugh. As hard as I tried, I could never erase my feelings for her.

Helix pushed off the locker and walked toward me. "I know that fight was over Layla. Bulldozer didn't like how close you two had become." His tone and words were putting me on the defense. The fight between Bulldozer and me had gotten us both suspended without pay for a month. I wasn't about to take a hit like that again. Two suspensions would be the end of my career.

"If you've got something to say, just say it. I need to patch my suit." I tried to sidle past him, to let him know I didn't give a shit about his opinion. He moved to block my path.

I stared at him, all the while reminding myself to keep my cool.

"Bulldozer said you were trying to make a move on Layla. Not sure if it's a good idea for you to see her at the memorial."

I looked down, shook my head and raked my fingers through my hair, a stalling tactic to give myself a second to calm down. Then I looked him square in the eyes. Helix and I had been on enough fire fights together to know this kind of shit didn't help enthusiasm for teamwork. I needed to end the bad blood, at least on my side.

"Look, I know you two were best friends. King and I, we're the same. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose him, so I'm going to let you be pissed at me. It's fine, especially if it makes you feel better. But Bulldozer and I were on the same team. I helped carry him down that rocky terrain, and with every treacherous step, I told him hang on, Bulldozer. We're not going to lose you. Hang in there, please. Layla and I were friends. She knows a lot about medical advances, and my dad is struggling with cancer. That's all it was." I didn't give a crap about defending myself to Helix, but I sure as fuck hated having to defend Layla. She never did anything wrong, while Bulldozer practically made out with other women right in front of his wife. I could never understand why she put up with it.

I considered my part of the conversation over. This time he let me pass, but he didn't let me leave the locker room without one more dagger tossed my way.

"Well, just see that you two keep it about that, about medical advice."

My entire body tensed. I spun around. "I tried to be diplomatic here, Helix. I know you're hurting but fuck you." He flinched but didn't move toward me. None of us wanted a suspension. "First of all, you're not her keeper. You don't get to control Layla's life just because you were Bulldozer's friend. And secondly, did you ever, in your years of knowing the guy, tell him he should treat his wife better? He used to grab women's asses right in front of her, like he had some kind of special privilege to do what he pleased just because he was fucking Bulldozer."

His jaw clenched right along with his fists. But, just like me, Helix didn't want to lose his job. Besides that, he knew everything I'd said was true. He might have idolized his buddy, Adam Rafferty, but the guy had some serious flaws. Even his best friend wouldn't be able to see past them. Bulldozer was too in your face about everything he felt entitled to. Even with the most amazing wife waiting for him at home, Bulldozer thought every woman was his for the taking.

Helix shook off whatever he was about to say. He knew I was right, and there wasn't much he could say to defend it.

I nodded once and turned to leave.

"I think this little talk just cemented what I was thinking," he said as I reached the door. "You're just hoping to see Layla at the memorial. Otherwise, you wouldn't bother."

I walked out and shut the door sharply behind me. This time, I didn't have a retort. This time there was truth in what he said and I knew it. It was hard to convince myself otherwise. I tried to convince Kaos the fight had just been a moment of bad blood between two crew mates, but the truth was—that fight had left a tear in my relationship with Bulldozer and nothing could have repaired it.

6

Eighteen months earlier

Kingston was like a kid waiting for his parents to come down for Christmas. "What the hell, Bronx? The ski lift is going to have a mile long line by the time you get yourself all prettied up for the slopes."

I finished pulling on my sweater. "I was born pretty, so I don't need to get prettied up for anything. What the hell are you so antsy about? The snow and the mountain aren't going anywhere."

"I want to set my snowboard down in powder. Not those shitty ice ruts left behind by a million other boarders."

"How do I look?" I held out my arms and spun around like a model on a runway just to irritate him.

"Like I could spread you with butter and eat you up. Now, let's go. Oh, and if I happen to spot a hot snow bunny without a partner for the ski lift, then don't feel too slighted if I leave you in the dust."

I locked the motel door. "Well shit, you said I looked good enough to be slathered in butter."

"Trust me, I'd much rather slather a snow bunny in butter. Shit, now that's all I'm going to be thinking about. How the fuck am I going to plow the powder now?"

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