Page 45 of Drive Me Wilde

Rio comes out of the bathroom holding a bunch of lip gloss and hair bands in her tiny hands. She turns and sees me standing in front of her bedroom, wanting to melt into the floor and get swallowed up by middle-earth. She drops all the things in her hands. They clatter all over the hallway floor as she jumps over them and lands solidly in my arms.

"Don't look sad, Dad. I'll be back in a few days." She lifts her face and reaches her small hand up to press it against my cheek. "Turn that frown upside down, Sir James. You haven't gotten rid of me. I'll make you pancakes as soon as I'm back."

My heart and soul are in shreds, but I push up a smile. "You behave for your mom, and call me every day and night."

"I will." She kisses me on the cheek. Nicole doesn't look at me again, but Rio stops to wave at the door and again at the car. I'm holding myself together … for now.

Indi walks over to give her a long hug. She's wiping her eyes as she turns away. I try to catch a solid breath of air as I watch the car reach the end of the street and turn. Indi follows me into the house.

"Is there anything I can do?" Indi asks through sniffles.

I stand in my entryway for a few seconds, then turn and throw my fist into the wall. My stitches rip open, and blood trickles fast and furiously down my arm.

"Let me get some new wraps." Indi touches my shoulder. I move away from her hand.

"Just go, Indi. Please. Just go."

I hear the front door open and shut as I stare down at the drips of blood collecting on the floor.

nineteen

. . .

Indi

I'm rethinking my decision to ride the bike down to the beach. My legs feel heavy and my heart isn't too far behind. After the crazy night at the bar, which was followed by an even more stressful morning, the last thing I feel like doing is hanging out on the beach with Zach, but he texted me a picture of the sandwiches he bought. He bought me a ham and cheese, possibly my least favorite sandwich in the world. I needed some time to recuperate from the morning, so I let him know I'd meet him at the beach. A long, warm shower didn't wash away the horrid feeling of having Jameson dismiss me so coldly. But after a long mental talk with myself, I decided he was just too upset to talk to or see anyone. I wasn't a parent, but I could feel the anguish radiating off him in waves. He needed time and space.

The morning fog cleared, and it's a warm day at the cove. There is a long stretch of sand in front of the cliffs. It's one of the few useable spots on an otherwise rocky, treacherous coastline. The sun has swept past the surrounding cliffs, and the ivory sand is absorbing the sun's warmth.

Zach stands up from the blanket he's stretched out. He's got a fat lip, but otherwise, he came through the fight mostly unscathed. He waves and smiles enthusiastically. I lock up thebike and head toward him. A few seagulls have caught a whiff of sandwiches, and they are standing nearby waiting to see if we'll share. Zach pulls me into his arms for a hug, and I know right then that this can never go further than friendship. The notion of getting back together with Zach flashed through my brain for less than a second. Whatever was between us in high school, it's not there anymore. In fact, the more I think about our relationship back then, I'm not convinced there was ever anything there. We were a concept, a theory, more than an actual couple.

"Bought you a ham and cheese," he says as he points at the ice chest. "Your favorite, right?"

I force a smile. He hung out with me for years, and there's no way he ever saw me eat a ham and cheese sandwich because I don't like the taste of ham. "Thanks for bringing lunch."

He plops down, and I sit down too. The soft blanket and warming rays from above help me feel better.

"Is it true that Rio was missing this morning? I was on a long run." Zach pats his flat stomach. "Need to get back in shape. I don't want to get soft in the middle yet. I'll do that when I'm fifty." It's typical Zach. He asks about Rio, with some concern, but rather than wait to hear how it all turned out, he's off talking about his six-pack of all things.

"Rio's fine. Just gave everyone a good scare." It's not my place to let Zach know that the morning had a terrible ending anyway. That's Jameson's news to tell.

"That's good." He shakes his head. "That kid—never thought I'd see Jameson being led around by his heartstrings—I'm happy for the guy."

The topic is pushing tears into my eyes. I blink them away. "What have you been up to?"

"You mean aside from wasting time in a bad marriage?" He laughs. "Won't make that mistake again." Zach sits back on hishands and lifts his sunglasses. He's still handsome as ever. "You and I—we should have made it work. I know we were each going to separate coasts, but we should have kept our relationship going." He has an entirely different memory of things.

"We grew apart before that, Zach. Don't you remember? I think we stuck it out through high school because that's what everyone expected. You were the quarterback and I was head cheerleader, and for some silly reason people thought we were destined to be together."

Zach looks hurt. He drops his face and fiddles with the corner of the blanket. "I guess we saw things differently. But it's a new time," he says cheerily. "We're no longer bound by all that high school crap. Maybe the two of us?—"

I shake my head. "I just came out of a relationship."

"That actor," he says. And that is the big drawback of dating someone famous. "I guess I'm not surprised that you were dating a big Hollywood star. You really were the school jewel—beautiful, smart, and on top of all that you were kind."

I can feel my cheeks warm. "Not sure if I deserve all those accolades but thank you. And, as for the two of us—I hope we can still be friends."

"Yeah, I'd like that, Indi."

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