Page 115 of All at Once

“You told me not to,” he says with a gaze that’s so sincere, it fills me with some guilt for even doubting him for a second. And for showing even a trace of annoyance at Enrique over something that he still wasn’t aware of.

“I know,” I say. “I’m just surprised you didn’t.”

“It wasn’t my business to tell him,” he says confidently, like this should be the most obvious thing in the world.

I love how Luca keeps reminding me that it’s okay to set boundaries for myself. “Thank you,” I express, feeling grateful for sharing something like this with the right person.

But what did Luca tell him then?

I clarify, “I just got confused since he said you told himeverything.”

“Yeah, I told him that I wantedto kiss you,” he says with a smile that’s so bright, it dissipates all the previous awkwardness around us.

“So you wanted to kiss me then?” I repeat, almost in disbelief.

“I really,reallywanted to,” Luca says, his eyes somehow turning even more blue, as I bite down on my beaming smile. “I also told him how I tried to but then stopped so that I could tell him how I felt about you first.”

“Felt about me?” My heartbeat speeds at his words.

“I told him that unfortunately I like you…a lot.” Luca’s entire face lights up at his revelation.

“Do you now?” I tease, unable to help myself.

His expression fades a bit, his voice turning more serious. “Up until the night before the wedding, I was trying to process all my feelings, and I was so frustrated because I didn’t know what to do. With how things ended with my last relationship, with Enrique alsoliking you, and most of all howyoufelt about him. I thought you really wanted to be with him.”

“I did. But that changed when I got to spend more time with you.” I try to gather my thoughts. “I was excited that Enrique and I had a second chance after all these years that it felt like finally living out a fantasy I once had.” My voice grows shaky, not used to being this direct with my feelings. “But the reality was that I didn’t feel the fraction of what I felt around him that I felt when I was with you.”

Luca’s cheeks fill with a warmth, pleased at my confession. “I also felt guilty for liking you when someone so close to me also had feelings for you. That’s never happened to me before.” His shoulders tense up. “On my way to the gym yesterday, I saw you two together and when you said that nothing happened between us, I got confused and didn’t want to jeopardize everything if you didn’t feel the same way, regardless of how I felt. And then you got jealous of my friend…” He gives me a side grin, his seriousness fading a bit.

Now I’m blushing. “I did not get jealous,” I say coyly, even though I damn well know I wasextremely jealous.

“It’s funny because she actually is just a friend, and I didn’t bring her to get back at you. She needed a ride so it was just weird timing.” He smirks. “It worked though. With the speech you gave me.”

When he bites down on the corner of his mouth, I don’t know if I want to scoff or interrupt the conversation altogether and just kiss him. Instead, I sigh at the reminder of what else I potentially told him that night. “So you also heard that I like you.”

“Yes, but just so we’re clear, I liked youbeforeyou told me. I’ve liked you since the first day that I met you,” he says with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Okay, now you’re just trying to make me feel better,” I say.

“No, it’s true,” he says. “I didn’t tell you that we could have met before at the beginning because I was scared of what could have happened. And that’s because I knew that I liked spending time with you. I wasn’t ready. And I didn’t want to screw things up.”

Sohedidn’t want to screw things up withme?

He pauses, reading my eyes for a moment. “You caught me by surprise. Thebestsurprise of my life honestly.”

I can’t say anything. And that’sdefinitelya first. My smile’s just too deep right now.

“Okay…” Luca shrugs, while chuckling. “What?”

“Nothing.” I shrug back coyly.

If Luca just said he liked me back, I’d still be a bit surprised, solely for the fact that this has never happened to me. Having feelings that are reciprocated for the first time. But thewayhe’s telling me everything, the way each word is slipping off his lips, coming fromhis voice, it’s tugging at the heartstrings that I didn’t even know I had.

When a strand of my hair falls in my face, Luca immediately tucks it behind my ear. I feel his touch all the way down to my toes, reminding myself to swallow the lump in the back of my throat when his eyes flicker to my lips.

“I think the hardest part for me was holding back all the times that I wanted to kiss you,” he says. “I’ve lost track at how many it’s been actually.”

Oh…

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