Page 151 of All at Once

His face lights up at my comment. “It’s probably the only thing I really know how to make. I used to make them all the time in college. To the point where half our fridge were just potatoes.”

I laugh. “Imagine your roommates wanted like a beer and instead they’d just see a giant potato?”

“Yeah I almost mistook one for my phone,” he deadpans. “You could imagine the shock on my professor’s face when I showed up with a potato instead of my notebook.”

I snort. “Enrique must have enjoyed that.”

“He did.” Luca chuckles.

“How was it like rooming together that first year? It must have been fun to live together,” I say with wonder, wanting to hear more about an experience I hoped to have, wishing I could have lived in a dorm during university myself.

Luca’s eyes fill with a glimmer. “Yeah, it was honestly one of the best years of my life. It was nice to see each other every day like that.” Then his expression turns bittersweet. He tries to shake it off, but I give him a supportive glance, and he continues, “It was probably the calmest I’ve seen Enrique. Since he wasn’t working with his family as often. His dad can be pretty unbearable,” he adds, but then immediately shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have overshared like that.”

I know Luca would tell me anything, but this seems too personal for me to expect him to share more with me, and so I remind him that no matter what I’ll be here to listen if he needs me.

“Luca, I’d never say anything. But if you want to keep that to yourself, I also understand.”

He kisses my cheek, unraveling that fuzzy warmth all over my skin, before I redirect back to his previous point. “So did those potatoes sum up your collegeexperience?”

He grins. “Yeah, just about.”

It’s then when I’m reminded of something he told me about earlier. “You said your first time was in college right?” When he nods, I sit up and ask, “What was it like?”

I wonder if hearing his experience will ease my nerves that have suddenly decided to appear out of nowhere again.

“Not as romantic as you’d think,” he replies. “But it taught me to make sure and check if her roommates were coming back the next time.”

“Why? Did they see you naked?” I feel my lips curve into a smile.

His cheeks flush. “Unfortunately…”

I chuckle then slightly shift the topic to what I really want to ask him about, what I’ve been most hesitant to bring up. “Do you have any dealbreakers when it comes to sex?”

Luca’s brows furrow. “Dealbreaker?”

“Yeah, like hypothetically speaking, is it a dealbreaker if a girl doesn’t give you head?” I ask him as if we’re not together now. And he clearly picks up on my lack of subtlety.

Yet Luca goes along with it, once again proving to me that there really isn’t any question I can’t ask him. “No, it wouldn’t,” he answers, his eyes and voice sincere.

I feel my brows pinch together, almost not believing him. “Really? Even if you went down on her, you’d still be okay with it?”

“Yeah, if anything that would be more of a dealbreaker for me.”

“What?”

“If she didn’t like me going down on her,” he explains. “I get off more knowing that the woman I’m with is satisfied first.”

And now my heart is racing again. “Good to know,” I reply nonchalantly even though I fear I need an ice bath after hearing his explanation.

“If that’s something you don’t ever want to do, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

While I can’t deny how grateful I am at how he continues to alleviate any sense of pressure off me, my eyes still grow wide with embarrassment.

“What?” he says, most likely at my ridiculous expression. “There was nothing ‘hypothetical’ about your question. So if that was your way of indirectly asking me if it’s a dealbreaker for me, it’s not.”

I swear I’m not trying to gaslight him. I’m just feeling conflicted again at the idea of doing something that still freaks me out a bit.

I reply, “I feel like you’re just telling me what I want to hear even though I obviously like hearing what I want to hear.”

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