Page 22 of All at Once

Enrique: I’ll make it up to you, promise

It’s hard for me to remind myself that this is his job. One that he clearly takes seriously or at least has to. And it’s not fair for me to hold that against him especially since I’m the one who showed up here on such short notice. Rejection still sucks even when it’s explainable.

I try to show some of my discontent without scaring him off completely:

Jasmine: We’ll see about that

Enrique: Shit. I’m sorry. We can still go to the club tonight when I get off work?

Wait, so he doesn’t mind cancelling dinner plans but still wants to go to a club?I also still want to go, so despite my growing frustration, I reply:

Jasmine: Sure

Enrique: Great. I’ll see you in the lobby at 11:30

Killing time until we meet is even harder than before he texted me, when I still manage to arrive at the lobby a quarter early. Feeling a bit confused if I’m getting mixed signals here, my spiraling questions are enough to distract me from our conversation. I gaze off into the distance from the balcony, unsure of how the rest of the evening is going to turn out.

Will Enrique try to kiss me? Will he try to do more? Will my dance moves be so awful that he’ll immediately pick up on the fact that I’ve never grinded before?

Trying to figure out which of these scenarios would bring me the most anxiety, I quickly realize that if something is going to involveanyphysical contact, then chances are I’m going to panic about it.

Before my inner dialogue can continue, I hear a familiar voice.

“Rethinking coming here?”

Ugh. It’s Luca. Why ishehere? This just keeps getting worse.

I briefly glance over at him then turn back toward the balcony, when I catch a glimpse of the ocean view that’s undetectable during nightfall even through the transparent glass windows. Trying to focus on the water with my blank expression, I finally reply, “Rethinking all my life choices actually.”

Luca sighs. “God, you’re so dramatic.”

I turn toward him again, now with a glare. “I’m not in the mood.” Then I notice how dressed up he is. He looksgood.

Before I have a chance to ask Luca why he’s here, Enrique arrives. “Hey, I’m sorry again for earlier,” he says with a kiss to my cheek. I give him a friendly smile, trying not to look as hurt as I still feel.

When Luca walks with us out of the resort, I realize he’s joining us.

Enrique never mentionedthat.

As my mind starts to wander, Luca and my eyes accidentally meet. I notice how his brows have softened up, a slightly more empathetic expression written on his face, before we both quickly look away. He must’ve picked up on the tension between me and Enrique. This is confirmed when he tells a story from work on our Uber ride there, breaking what otherwise would’ve likely been an awkward silence.

_________

The club is packed when we arrive. The only other time I remember being in the same room as this many people was during the few college parties that I went to. Except those were years ago, and this feels way more overwhelming given how I’m currently standing beside two annoyingly handsome men.

Guessing that the group sitting at a booth in the corner is waving to Enrique and Luca rather than at me, it looks like Enrique invited hisentirefriend group tonight. My disappointment is distracted by the added nerves at the realization that I don’t know a single person here other than these two, who I also barely know. Being an extrovert clearly doesn’t make you exempt from social anxiety.It follows us all.

The only thing that makes me forget about my anxiety right now is my insecurity.

For every guy at our table, there’s two girls. It’s hard enough trying to figure out what I’m going to say, but now I’m surrounded by women that could be supermodels. And they look a little too excited to see us. I meanthem.

You’d think that Luca and Enrique got ready together by the way they’re both wearing dark jeans and button downs that are different shades of cloudy blue. Assuming that Enrique would be the life of the party, everyone seems just as pleased to see Luca. Which is beyond me. Dare I say he even looks like he’s charming the women that are swarming him?

After introducing me to our table, Enrique leaves to bring us drinks, when one of the girls that’s been staring at him ever since we got here immediately gets up and follows him to the bar. Am I thinking logically at how she’s probably just offering her help given that he won’t be able to carry all the drinks by himself?No. I’m just thinking how he has another admirer. It was careless on my part for also not considering how many people would be interested in him.

To avoid ruining my self-esteem even further, I look over at Luca who’s now talking to two girls who are both wearing risqué outfits that I wish I had the confidence to pull off. After one of the girls walks away, the other moves closer to him, now touching his shoulder as she continues to do most of the talking.

When she finally leaves, I walk up to him and motion toward the girl Enrique’s still standing next to. “Who’s she?”

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