Page 24 of All at Once

Still on an adrenaline high, I smile in my own daze while taking my seat, before Clara’s voice brings me back to reality again. “Let’s play a game,” she says.

“Truth or dare,” one of Enrique’s other friends chimes in.

Clara scoffs. “Seriously? Aren’t we a little old for that?”

“Yeah,” I agree. “That’s just as dumb asnever have I ever.”

Then Clara looks like she has a lightbulb moment. “Actually, that sounds like fun. Let’s play that.”

Whether or not she says this only to spite me is irrelevant when all I’m worried about is how I will approach a game that focuses mainly on sexual experience when I havenoneof it. A few people at the table look confused by the game, so she explains the rules, “Each person takes turns saying something they haven’t done, and anyone that has done what the person says has to take a drink.”

A guy next to her starts the game. “Never have I ever had a threesome.”

Fuck. Why doeseveryonehave to makeeverythingsexual?

I try to smile, but an emptiness fills me while the group makes a commotion on each other’s answers. Everyone’s eyes fall on me when it’s my turn. No one technically said this has to be sexual, so here goes nothing. “Never have I ever downloadedSpotify Premium,” I say.

“What?” Clara looks at Enrique in pure disgust, while he looks amused.

Luca spits out his water in laughter as I glare at him, trying to remain collected.

“That’s not how we play the game,” Clara adds unimpressed.

Enrique nudges Luca’s shoulder when it’s his turn, since he doesn’t seem as invested in the game as the rest of them. Luca has a knowing look on his face and then says, “Never have I ever downloadedParamount Plus.” Asshole. He rubs it in by looking at me, adding, “This is fun.”

Now I want to throw his water in his face. But also, there’s a tiny part of me that feels grateful toward him that I wasn’t the loner who gave a non-sexual answer.

The girl who was entranced by Luca is next. “Never have I ever gone down on someone on a first date.”

And with that, I feel so out of place.

This is exactly the sort of confession that I was dreading to hear before the game even started. Enrique has a drink along with almost half of the table. Luca doesn’t.

It’s hard to fill the void of feeling this singled out when I start hearing a few people around me snicker about the details of their shared sexual experiences.

I want to leave, knowing that it’s most likely only going to get worse.

But I tell myself,maybe I can handle more?

Unfortunately, it’s Clara’s turn now. “Never have I ever fucked on the beach,” she says confidently.

Okay,nowI need to leave.

If the rest of the confessions are anything along the veins of these last two, by the end of the game I’ll be a 25-year-old joke.

I decide to go use the restroom instead as a way to escape. That’s over fairly quickly though. Not really wanting to go back just yet, I walk outside before I spot a bar next door and make my way toward it.

_________

I once fantasized about the guy that I like chasing after me after seeing me down. In reality, it either doesn’t happen, or it’s not the person you’d hope would come after you. You can imagine my surprise nonetheless when I spot Luca in my periphery, while sitting alone at the bar. I look up at him through furrowed brows and ask, “How did you know where I am?”

“I traced the glass slipper that you dropped in the corridor,” he replies in the most monotone voice ever.

I roll my eyes.

“It was either the bar or the gas station. I took a wild guess,” he says, and then sits down on the barstool next to me. “Is everything okay?” he asks as if it pains him to state this question.

“Yeah. I just wanted a drink.” I don’t realize how unbelievable this sounds until after saying it considering the club had plenty of alcohol.

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