Page 64 of All at Once

“That’s because I don’tknowthem,” I reason. “There’s not really anything there to lose.”

“Okay, but even that, you think that comes naturally to the average person? I don’t think so.”

Brows creased, I reply, “So I’m talented because I’m able to talk to strangers?”

“You know that’s not what I’m trying to say.” He gives me a knowing look. “You have a lot of great and nuanced traits that I think make you a really interesting person.”

“Youthink I’m an interesting person?” I say, tilting my head down at him. “You could’ve fooled me.”

He bites down on his smile. “Look.That’swhat I mean. I’ve never known someone for such a short period of time, but learned this much about them through them and notanotherperson. For someone who enjoys talking as much as you do, you have a way of making people feel like they can talk to you about anything. And it’s ironic, now that I know there’s not many people that you feelyoucan do the same around. I think that’s talent.” He raises his eyes at me at that last part, making me revaluate everything.

Luca’s words remind me of what I’ve struggled with since I turned 18, not knowing how to access the potential that I was previously told I had. I like the idea he brings up of talent presenting itself in a variety of different forms, many of which are not really acknowledged the way that they can be.

Butterflies continue to dance around in my stomach at his compliment. “I’m sorry, but am Istilltalking to Luca?” When he rolls his eyes, I say, “Thank you for making me seem like I’m more talented than you.”

He gives me a side grin. “I’d bet you probably are.”

“If there’s one thing I will confidently give myself credit for in regard to talent is my gigantic imagination,” I add.

“A good imagination can get you through a lot,” he says.

“You have no idea…”

With every exchange, this feels more vulnerable as it’s growing increasingly difficult to look into his eyes.

But I also can’t look away.

It’s addicting really. To express yourself through conversation that you would rarely ever bring up, since you can’t imagine who you’d ever tell these things to. “You know what’s one of my daydreams?” I continue.

He smirks to himself. “To sit on a rock while listening to a guy play on an out of tune guitar?”

I roll my eyes. “No. To dance with my crush in a fully lit gazebo to Taylor’s version of ‘Untouchable’ playing in the background,” I confess, demonstrating an example of my outlandish imagination. Something that if I told to the average person or even my parents, I’d be called “foolish” or “too old” for even having such a frivolous thought.

Luca just looks so amused as he rests his palm against his jaw. “You say that with so much yearning.”

“That’s because I’ve wanted it to happen since I first heard the song a million years ago,” I admit.

“It is a really pretty song,” he says.

Still impressed how he evenknowsthe song, I continue dreaming out loud the reasoning behind my fantasy. “It’s not my faultA Cinderella Storygave me unrealistic expectations about love, and has been my reference point for romance since I was a kid.”

“Unrealistic is relative though, no?”

Okay, this isnotthe same Luca I first spoke to.

“Yeah, I guess it is. But I can’t think of many guys oranyguys really that would suggest to ever do something like that.” I sigh, knowing deep down my fantasy will always remain, well, exactly that.

“Why not suggest it yourself then?” he says.

“Because, that takes away like half the romance of it. Part of what makes something truly romantic is when the other person goes out of their way to do something that could make you happy.”

“If you don’t communicate with the other person though,” he reasons, “how do you expect them to know what you want?”

“If you have to constantly tell someone what you want or how you feel, doesn’t that almost defeat the purpose?” I argue.

“Okay, that’s fair,” he admits. “But even if it doesn’t feel as sexy to communicate, 9 out of 10 times, it’s better so the resentment doesn’t start to kick in.”

I nod. “You’re right about communication. I do think that a lot of problems could be avoided or at least resolved if you talk about what’s bothering you.”

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