Page 7 of All at Once

“Inthree days?” Georgia repeats. “Okay. Wow. And when are you coming back?”

“I think a few weeks? I know theReal Madridvs.FC Barcelonagame that we want to go to is in like two weeks so definitely not before that,” I explain.

“Shit. You’re really doing this then,” she says, glancing at me slightly skeptically. But something about the glint in her eyes lets me know that she’s also impressed.

“Yeah. I know. It’s pretty insane,” I admit with a nervous smile.

“I mean, the idea isn’t wild. It’s how quickly you’re leaving. But I get that sometimes you quite literally need to escape.” Hervoice softens. “I know last week was pretty tough with the whole job thing. I think you’re going to have a lot of fun in Spain.”

Georgia has a unique way of understanding me when I feel no one else does. And for that I’m forever grateful for her.

“Thank you for your support. As always. It means everything to me,” I tell her.

She grins while getting up from the couch. “Ice cream?” she asks, and I nod as she heads into the kitchen. “Are you excited?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping until my flight,” I reply. “I’m also pretty fucking scared out of my mind, but what’s new?”

“Don’t be. You got this,” she reassures while scooping the ice cream into bowls. “And if it’s a crappy experience, I’m sure there’s plenty of other guys there that you’ll text me about,” she adds with a smirk.

I laugh. “Please just answer your phone. I have a feeling I’ll be calling you every five minutes.”

Georgia chuckles before walking back to the living room and handing me my bowl of coffee ice cream. “I’ll try my best. Just text me if anything. And most of all, have fun,” she says with the same warm smile I know I’m going to miss the next few weeks.

I lean in to hug her tightly, wishing we’d be going on this trip together.

Closing my eyes, I try my best to forget about all the things that will inevitably bring me anxiety throughout this trip, knowing that if I start going through them one by one I’ll cancel my flight.

So yes, I’mintentionallynot considering how I’m about to travel across the globe and stay at a resort in a foreign country by myself. In just three days.

Then there are the more pressing issues like the thought of potentially having my first kiss. Or hooking up. And the unimaginable:losing my virginity.

Already feeling sick after giving these thoughts just a few seconds of my time, I push the negativity out of my mind before it has a chance to ruin this for me, done thinking about thewhat could have been.

I thought things would change once I turned 18. I wondered if they would get better when I turned 21. But they haven’t.

Everything continues to feel the same as before.And I hate it.

I finally have a chance to do something about it now. Here goes nothing I guess…

CHAPTER 2

“Message In A Bottle (Taylor’s Version)” – Taylor Swift

OKAY, MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE thoughtsomeof this through.

It turns out that flying on your own this abruptly on a 14.5-hour flight is exactly how it sounds. Freaking overwhelming. I wouldn’t say I really get scared on planes, although my body would have to disagree with this sentiment after shivering profusely as we were about to take off.

I quite literally looked like that was the first plane I’d ever been on. But my horrendous posture was nothing compared to my teeth that must have chattered for a good 20 minutes. I’m pretty sure the travelers sitting to my left and right glanced over at each other sharing a mutual look of worry if I was going to collapse, probably placing bets if it would be before or after we got to Spain.

But as soon as we landed, all I could think wasI did it.I’m here. And as anxious and worried as I still felt about it, I also felt proud of myself. Getting here was half the battle.And I did it.

When I get in my shuttle, I send Enrique a message that I’ll be at the resort in less than an hour.

My nerves temporarily settle as I spot a sliver of the coastline framed by vibrant green palm trees in the blazing afternoon. The cerulean Mediterranean sea glitters as we wind our way along the two-lane highway. For a moment, it feels like home. I exhale a deep breath and let myself almost relax for the rest of the drive.

I’m still awaiting a response from Enrique when I reach the front doors of Alonso Bay Resort. But I almost drop my luggage in shock the moment I walk inside.

The grandness. The pristine ivory tiles. The elegant architecture that’s only outshined by the picturesque view of the ocean from the balcony. It’s all absolutely breathtaking. Fresh flowers fill the giant lobby that has both an indoor and outdoor setup. As the sea breeze disperses in the air, I notice the never-ending halls, high ceilings, and curving marble staircase. I make my way deeper into the lobby, toward the glass windows when I spot the overgrown gardens surrounding a massive pool that looks even more inviting than the photos I saw online.

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