Page 108 of All at Once

So is this his way of admitting he regrets even trying to kiss me? It sure sounds like it.

“Yeah. Totally,” I say. “Nothing even happened.”

“Nothingeven happened?” he repeats as his eyes narrow a little.

“Yeah,” I say, “so there’s nothing to worry about.”

He confirms this when his brows furrow as he leans back. “I guess not. Yeah.”

He offers a weak smile. “So I’ll see you around then?” he asks this more so as a courtesy than a genuine question that hehopescomes true.

“Yeah. I’ll see you. Around,” I say.

What the fuck just happened?

I replay my conversation with Luca on a loop in my mind throughout the day, wondering if there was something I could’ve said for it to have ended better.

Everything about him felt different. Not in a good or bad way. Just different.

His voice, his body language, something no longer felt the same.

But there’s a party tonight that seems way smaller and more casual than the last one. So maybe everything will be normal tonight? Maybe he’ll even try to kiss me again? I tell myself these things hoping it’ll dissipate the sinking feeling in my stomach that’s somehow tripled after standing that close to him again.

_________

Typically this royal blue crop top and short white denim skirt would be out of my comfort zone, but already feeling more confident than when I first got here, I put it on without a second thought, pairing it with my beige strappy sandals.

Eagerly getting ready only disappoints me when Luca isn’t at the lobby or by the valet. Apparently he’s not driving us, and yet these past two weeks he has.

I know I tend to make up most things,but what’s going on?

“Is Luca not coming?” I ask Enrique, trying not to sound too anxious.

“No he is,” he replies. “He’s just meeting us there.”

The grumbling in my belly now quadruples.

When we arrive, the house is much more up my wheelhouse (aka way less intimidating than the previous mansion was). It also reminds me of a college party. The same ones that I wished I could have gone to more of while still at university.

Nostalgia fills me and then leaves me altogether when I notice Luca in my periphery.

Except he’s not here alone.

There’s a girl standing next to him. And she’s beautiful. But I don’t recognize her from any of his friends that I’ve met so far.

I look away, hoping that he doesn’t notice me, if he already has. The nauseousness fills my entire body, my heart somehow sinking even deeper. And then, suddenly, I’m also pissed.

Even if I leaned in first, he’s the one that verbalized that he wanted to kiss me. Not explaining why he stopped is one thing. But showing up here with someone else seems pretty shitty to me.

And not that it’s my business, but the fact that he told me he’s not seeing anyone right now is only making me feel worse.

I try my best to avoid them, until I notice Luca approaching a line in front of the drinks. I walk toward him, trying to stay calm even though I’m also the furthest thing from it at the moment. “I thought you’re not dating anyone right now?” I mock, while my eyes fume.

He turns around, his expression dropping. “I thought that you don’t care?”

Even though he’s almost glaring at me, I try to avoid the warmth his eyesstillfill me with.

I squint at him and reply, “You almost kissed me last night, and now you brought another girl here. How do you think that looks?”