Page 170 of All at Once

Although, it seems like Luca might be processing this the same as me and just so happens to be doing a better job at hiding it. With the way he’s scurrying around trying to do the most tedious and insignificant tasks, like adding an additional tag to my bag to make sure it doesn’t get lost.

While he continues to stall, I think of the one thing that usually solves all problems.

I pull him in for a hug. A hug that’s so tight, maybe he’ll somehow come back with me to California.A girl can dream…

It’s certainly tight enough where it feels as if my heart’s escaping out of my chest and into his.

Holding his back closely, I say against his ear, “Don’teverchange.” Still not ready to look into his eyes, I add, “Thank you for making me feelsafe, Luca. Abouteverything.”

He pulls me away just to look into my eyes. And they’re as crystal-like as ever before. All the shades somehow melding into each other to reflect the liveliest, most gleaming blue.

“Thank you for making me feel vulnerable again,” he says through watery eyes.

I almost choke on my next words, realizing that this is the first time I’ve seen him almost shed a tear. “You didn’t need me for that. I know that now.”

“Fuck,” he exhales through a nervous laugh as he tilts his head up toward the airport ceiling. “Why are we acting this sad?We’ll FaceTime whenever we can, and we’ll hopefully see each other again soon.”

“I hope so,” I say.

“Wewill,” he repeats confidently, tightening his grip around my waist.

“Please just kiss me before I go,” I request.

He takes his time, as if we have an abundance of it, as he runs his fingers through my hair before clasping onto a substantial amount of my tangled waves. Our eyes shut at the same moment our lips push against each other’s. The moment I want his tongue, he shows no hesitation to give it to me softly first,wickedlysecond.

But the patience in his hands wears thin when his fingers dance over to my neck. As a whimper escapes my mouth, Luca’s bottom lip catches my top lip as if he’s memorized my mouth so well that he understands it even more than I do. Pulling away slowly as our breath vibrates off the other’s skin is not what either of us want. But it’s also the only logical thing to do before we both combust.

Because of course he had to kiss me likethat.

“Okay. That was a terrible idea,” I admit, flustered.

“Why?” He teasingly brushes over my bottom lip with his thumb. “Are you feeling a little hot?”

“I don’t think our plane is going to need an engine, let’s put it that way.” When he snorts, I take the opportunity to rip the band-aid off. “Bye Luca.”

If I don’t leave to my gate now, I fear Ineverwill.

“Bye Jasmine.”

Luca’s comforting voice still manages to echo across the crowded room.

The last thing I remember is his lingering touch against my ear as he tucked my hair to the side before I disappeared from his view.

At least I doze off within minutes of boarding the plane, not getting much sleep last night for reasons that were much,muchmore important.

It’s mind-blowing how exponentially different going home feels from traveling here.

For starters, I feel like a completely different person.

Less like who I thought I wassupposedto be.

More who I alwayswantedto be.

CHAPTER 29

“King Of My Heart” – Taylor Swift

“I’M IN LOVE,” I CONFESS to Georgia as I wistfully stare at our apartment wall once we’re back from the airport.

---