Page 35 of All at Once

Still focused on Enrique, it must have slipped my attention how Luca is now sitting right across from me.

When we start having lunch, I motion toward the napkins that are out of my reach and ask him, “Can I have a sandwich napkin please?”

Luca’s brows crease. “What’s a sandwich napkin?”

“You know?” When he shrugs sarcastically, I clarify, “Like a napkin you use when you have a sandwich.”

“What?” He raises his brows. “First of all, we’re eating fishnota sandwich.” I roll my eyes as he adds, “And there’s no such thing.”

Not sure why he’s not understanding what I’m saying, I explain, “Yeah, you have a paper towel, and then you have a sandwich napkin.”

“No,” he says, the sarcasm in his voice building, “you have a paper towel and then anapkin.”

“What about those square napkins?” I ask.

“You meannapkins?” he deadpans.

“What?” I’m starting to think that maybeI’mthe one who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Luca confirms this, “They’re just napkins, not sandwich napkins.”

“Okay those.” I sigh, accepting defeat. “Can I have one please?”

He gives me a blank stare before handing me a napkin. “This was the stupidest conversation that I’ve ever had.”

“Then I’d reevaluate the rest of your conversations.” I don’t even know what I just said. All I know is that this man is endearing one moment and then annoying the next.

He clearly looks impressed with himself though, when his lips curve to the side at my comeback.

I place the focus back onto the shimmering turquoise water. “I didn’t know how detailed surfing got. You sure know a lot about it.”

“I’ve been surfing since I was little,” Luca explains. “My parents taught me.”

“That’s cool. I wish I could say the same. My parents aren’t the most adventurous. Although, I’m not really either,” I admit.

“Says the girl who traveled all the way to Europe by herself and is trying to surf even though she’s scared of the ocean,” he concludes with just a trace of sarcasm.

But that was prettyspecific. Andsweet.

“None of this is really me though,” I say.

“No? So you’renotJasmine then? You look a lot like her I must say,” he comments, his crystal blue eyes sparkling.

I laugh while my cheeks flush at the sound of my name slipping from his lips again. Then my expression grows blank. “It’s who I’ve wanted to be for as long as I can remember. I’ve just been putting it off I guess. Until now. This is my first trip ever by myself,” I confess, then realize what I just said.

Remembering all the vacation opportunities I passed up over the years out of fear, I try not to let it bring me down the way it has.

I continued to live with my parents all throughout college and up until last year. Even though at that point I was technically allowed to travel on my own or go on a vacation with my friends, I stilldidn’t. The problem, I found, of experiencing an extreme lack of freedom for most of your life and then suddenly having a little bit of it was that it makes you feel very stuck on how to use it. In many ways, I felt like a little girl once I turned 18 because my innocence was still so unscathed in every way. And I had no idea where to even start.

Not expecting to share this small, though, personal detail with Luca, I try to relax my posture.

“Ever?” he asks, eyes widening a little.

“Yeah, like I’ve never even traveled on my own a few hours away. This is kind of a lot. It’s been fun though,” I add.

Something shifts in Luca’s eyes, and suddenly he looks a lot more sincere. “Life’s too short to not try the things you want to do.”

“Yeah, exactly,” I agree. But wonder why he sounds almost sad.

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