Page 42 of All at Once

Luca sighs. “It’s a pretty fucking vicious cycle when you think about it, honestly. And I mean, counting on yourself is already difficult as it is. It’s such a mindfuck to try to figure out and count on someone else.”

“Did you study philosophy?” I ask, trying to bite back my smile.

He chuckles. “No. Close.” Then adds with a straight face, “Finance.”

I snort. “You must read a lot then?” I say, remembering the novel that we both enjoy, trying to rationalize where in the world his thoughtful responses are coming from.

“Eh. I don’t mind it,” he says, his eyes somehow grinning.

Then I get arealphone call this time. It’s Georgia.

Luca notices right away. “Oh theirony…”

I roll my eyes, when the realization of our conversation hits me. “Thank you for listening to me talk about things I’m sure youdidn’t want to discuss on your Saturday night. I usually talk to my best friend Georgia about this stuff, but since she’s not here, I’m sorry it had to be you.”

“Don’t be sorry. This wasinteresting,” he replies, a look of intrigue behind his lips as he unlocks his suite. I wonder if he notices how I’m still looking at him, when he pauses and turns around from his doorway. My body jolts like it did earlier, except this time with excitement as he meets my eyes. “And just because you haven’t experienced somethingyet, doesn’t mean you never will.”

“Goodnight, Luca,” I say with a smile that’s not big enough to let him know how much this conversation just helped me.

He nods before entering his suite.

If Georgia had picked up earlier, this conversation would have never happened, and I wouldn’t have felt this almost release being lifted off my shoulders. Over something I’ve always wanted to talk about.

Discussing most things with either friends or strangers usually comes naturally to me. But sex has always been the exception. Talking to Luca about it though didn’t feel strange. It felt so normal.

And I still have so many questions.

But the night is over, doubting if we will ever bring this up again.

I watch as the starlight reflects from the window in my suite, my cheeks warming up slightly, my lips curving upwards just a touch. The embarrassment I felt before Luca and I spoke felt never-ending, but our exchange was one I wish could have continued without end.

Instead, we only justscratched the surface.

CHAPTER 7

“Sparks Fly (Taylor’s Version)” – Taylor Swift

IT’S 6 AM, AND I’M wide awake.

Everything about last night felt like some extended lucid dream. Kissing the lips of my crush after these many years, and then having a conversation with his best friend over something onlymybest friend knows about, is really piquing my whole impostor syndrome.

Of course my phone stopped functioning as soon as I tried calling Georgia back last night. But she’s still at work right now, so I’ll have to try again later today.

Sleep brought some more sense into my logic, knowing how Enrique still suggested to meet again. And tomorrow will be here in no time.

I know I’m in a good mood when I forget to turn down the volume of my playlist after stepping out of the shower. As I’m changing into my marigold crop top and white denim skirt, I hear three loud thuds vibrate off the wall behind my bed.

Then Luca’s voice startles me from the window, interrupting my karaoke session of one. “Could you not throw your party until after I’m awake?! Or maybe close your window?”

Shit.I guess I forgot to close the window last night. Needing the extra air after both of those conversations.

I lean forward from the balcony and notice how his window is also open. Feeling guilty for waking him up, I call, “Sorry!”

A lack of response makes me think that he’s thankfully already asleep again.

Once I’m ready, I knock on Luca’s door first. I wonder if he’s doing anything fun today. Not that I particularly want to join him, but I’m not really used to doing things by myself. I like spending time with other people, and he just happens to be the only other person here that I know. But there’s no response.

After returning from breakfast (aka me swallowing three pancakes and a cup of grapefruit juice), I knock on Luca’s door again.Stillno response.

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