Page 80 of Of Brides Of Queens

“I do,” See replied.

I sighed, heaviness in mind. “Your pursuit of my heartbreak remains.”

“It does.”

“Did you feel the Raises’ heartbreak during the battle, sir?” I looked to where his eyes might be, and he must glimpse the challenge there. When he dipped his head, I said, “How could you want to do that to me?”

King See turned his head to watch the fire. It was not a flinch, per se, but I had felt fidgety in shame and guilt recently enough to sense the emotions in another.

I held my breath, then released it. “If you feel such guilt over breaking my heart, then why do you do it?”

“Why do you do the things that cause you shame and guilt?” he asked, glancing back.

For a moment, I was wide-eyed thinking that he had somehow seen me thieve and connive in the matter of bridal gifts. But he had not: That was shame and guilt making me fidgety again. The answer? “Because they feel so right that I cannot deny them. When I do such things, I feel it part of my path.”

The quiet between us buzzed. My answer had floated from my lips, and I got the sense that King See was entranced by my admission of vice.

His voice lowered. “And so I feel when I break your heart.”

There was such rightness and obsession when I held the bridal gifts in my hands. If breaking See’s heart inspired that feeling, could I say that I would resist or doubt that it must happen? “Yet I am the one who is being broken,” I eventually answered. “So what remains?”

He gazed at the fire again. “What remains is trust in that we do not understand. My madness is linked to your queendom. I am driven to break your heart. And so we are destined, and then we might choose to believe in that or not.”

“You would have me believe there is a good reason for what you do?”

“I would have you believe that we are ignorant in the matter, and so I would have you continue down this shrouded path with me for a time to see what might arise.”

“To fight for our destiny in other words,” I whispered.

See released a breath. “Just so. I know what I ask of you, Perantiqua.”

I watched him. His body mostly, though I could not help staring at his face, too, as if that may reveal his features. He asked heartbreak of me. More of it, as much as I could not protect myself from. “All this because you do not believe in love.”

He could see every part of my face, and I should be happy with this nearness. I should be happy to feel his breath on my face and to see the smaller details of his tunic—the cross stitches and lidless eye buttons. In the same breath, I wished to never notice any of these things again. I wished to be free of the hold this king had on me.

I understood the feeling of his obsession.

I just wished it was not so.

“Once I believed in love, but not for a long time. Obsession has only reinforced my beliefs on that front. I will harden your heart until you believe in love no more,” he said.

A crack in my heart at the words. King Take would have smelled the fresh heartbreak. “This path could lead to our demise and nothing more.”

“I think not. If we had done nothing, then I would still be as mad, and your queendom would be as it was. Those must be signs to walk in the other direction.” King See growled slightly. “If you had seen what I had, then you would know that love will ruin us more surely than anything else.”

I stared at him, cheeks and body flushed. I wished to storm out or fury at him or cry. I could not choose which.

“Yet the sight of your turmoil is unwelcome also,” he murmured. “You spoke of the Raises’ heartbreak, but you witnessed love between a king and princess, did you not? What did you see?”

“I saw love.”

“You saw weakness.” He circled me and his whisper circled me too. “You will not admit it. You cling to love still. But you will not always.”

“Just because love weakens one king, does not mean it would weaken a king and queen. You cannot say how love between us would be.”

“I cannot, but I will avoid the mistakes of other kings. Why else was I given the power tosee?Change’s union has no identity beyond ruin. Bring’s has no identity beyond saving. Raise tried his best but did worst of all by submitting to love. Take has done best of all but has not won by submitting only to infatuation and nothing more.”

I licked my lips. “More than love does not exist. We will not end up like others.”

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