Page 70 of Once Smitten, Twice Shy

I dab my hand on the towel resting on the tub’s edge.

My phone buzzes again. And again. And again. Too fast to be a phone call.

A text message thread to get sucked into! Even better.

Hands dry, I pick up my phone from its perch on the closedtoilet lid and lean my elbows on the tub’s edge. The friend group chat is blowing up.

Sula:We’ve got a babysitter & Rowan’s been sleeping through the night all week. I’m feeling well slept & SLUTTY. Let’s go out tonight!!

Margo:By “slutty,” Sula means “slutty with her wife.”

Sula:Babe, that’s a given. We both know I only get nasty on the dance floor with you.

Toni:*& that dominatrix with the pink bouffant last year at the New Year’s Eve party.

Sula:Antoni, let’s not throw stones at glass houses—you were right there with me. Besides, things done when I’ve ingested absinthe don’t count.

Margo:L O L, that was the best night ever.

Hamza:Toni was hungover for a week.

Toni:I regret bringing up that night. I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it. I can’t even smell black licorice anymore without dry heaving.

BeeBee:Dry heaving is the only appropriate response to smelling black licorice. Jamie’s working today, but he doesn’t have evening rounds at the shelters this week, so he’s free & I can answer for us both—we’re in!

KitKat:I’m in too, but only if dominatrices are involved. I was traveling for work on NYE last year. I need to see what I missed!

Sula:Your wish just might be granted. It’s a “hidden desires” theme night at the club. Margo’s off, so she’ll be on the fun side of the bar aka free to get nasty on the dance floor with me & all the other deviants.

Margo:Dominatrices, here we come!

Hamza:Have we started a drinking game? Take a shot of coffee every time someone uses “dominatrix/dominatrices”?

Sula:That’s a dangerous game, Hamza. I think most of us are already chronically overcaffeinated.

Christopher:I have never seen the word dominatrix/dominatrices so many times in one conversation. I should have known better than to pick up my phone during an investor meeting.

KitKat:That’s what you get for working on a Saturday! Leaving me all alone in bed this morning…

BeeBee:GROUP CHAT VIOLATION STRIKE 1! Keep your smexy talk out of here.

Toni:Was that really smexy though? Like obviously they share a bed.

BeeBee:Butt out of this Antoni.

Toni:

Christopher:Kate, I just have this one call, that’s it. I’m literally two rooms down from you in my home office.

KitKat:Really?? Did I know that?

Christopher:I told you last night I had a call but I wasn’t going into town.

KitKat:Wow. You must have told me when I was distracted.

Christopher:You were definitely distracted

BeeBee:GROUP CHAT VIOLATION STRIKE 2! One more, & you’re both out for 24 hrs.

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