Page 36 of Unromance

Ah. Sawyer puffed out her cheeks, unsure how to navigate this. “Okay,” she hedged carefully. “Doyouwant one, though? We are already here.”

“That’s true…” He puckered his lips, considering. “No,” he said decisively. “I’m not getting one, becauseIdon’t need it. It would only be used by a houseguest, and the whole point of this is I’m not looking for one.”

“Attaboy,” she cheered.

“Which means,” he said, deflated. “We are suffering at IKEA for no fucking reason.”

“Ugh,” Sawyer groaned. “Wanna go test the beds?”

“Sawyer, there are children here,” Mason chastised.

She rolled her eyes. “Not like that, you horndog.” She gestured for him to follow her, the yellow arrows on the floor guiding them through the maze. When they reached the floor of living room setups, they froze. Mason’s face was everywhere. A more groomed Mason in powder-blue scrubs and a lab coat was walking down a hospital hallway, having a muted conversation with his costar ex, Kara.

Sawyer’s gaze slid to Mason in slow motion, as if they didn’t move, no one would notice them frozen in the middle of the aisle. She’d never seen Mason so pale, his face transforming into the blandly smiling mask that she’d come to know as his PR Face, so unlike his usually expressive self.

She pressed her lips together, eyes darting across the massive floor. They had to get out of here. People were giving them dirty looks for blocking the walkway, and it was the last thing they needed—people looking at Mason while his face was on every wall. Mercifully, the episode moved on to a scene that didn’t have him in it, but it was only a matter of time.

Sawyer dragged Mason off to the side, into a tiny cubby between rooms, attempting to bodily conceal him—a feat that would be easier if he weren’t so much bigger than her. Arching onto her tiptoes soher face concealed his, she steadied herself against his chest by curling her fingers around his coat lapels.

She hadn’t been this close to Mason—had made a point to avoid it—in a long time, and it was, well, a lot. He smelled fantastic.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Hiding you,” she breathed.

She had a front-row seat to the smile that spread across his face, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “A valiant effort,” he commended her, tapping his forehead against hers. “But if we get caught all snuggled up, that’s worse for me than being caught shopping at IKEA.”

“Fuck,” Sawyer breathed. “I didn’t think of that.” She picked up a nearby succulent, holding it up as if inspecting it, and effectively hiding their faces from view. “I was thinking more like, let’s ruin the ‘kiss me so we don’t get made by the bad guys’ trope.”

“Is that a trope?” Mason said, tilting his head to the side quizzically.

She swatted his chest. “It totally is. Think, action-adventure rom-com.”

One side of Mason’s mouth quirked up in a cocksure grin. “If you wanna kiss me, Greene, you don’t need to come up with an excuse.”

What in the Wattpad?

“Cool it, Álvarez. Rule number two, remember?”

“Oh, I remember the rules. You’re the one trying to kiss me,” he said flippantly. “The scrubs really did it for you, huh?” He flicked his attention to the nearest TV, where his character was back, looking admittedly very attractive in his powder-blue scrubs, leaning against a lab counter, feet crossed at the ankles.

Sawyer whisper-screamed, “Oh my God, is that Mason West?”

The smile slid from Mason’s face. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Sawyer gave him a shit-eating grin. “You do look cute in the scrubs, though. You should wear them for me sometime,” she teased.

“Rule number two,” he said, faux scandalized, the effect ruined by the laugh rumbling out of him, jostling her against his chest. He braced a hand at the small of her back to hold her steady. “Okay,” he said seriously. “Safe to say I’m immune to IKEA-adjacent romantic notions.”

“I think that was true before we got here, but—” Sawyer mimed crossing an item off the list before making eye contact with him and adding another tally mark under her name. As predicted, she’d won this one, no contest.

“Fair. We probably could’ve skipped this one. No one could make this place fun for me.”

Sawyer snorted. “Agreed.”

“Alright. Game plan.”

“Right,” Sawyer said gravely. “How are we getting out of here alive?”

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