Page 49 of Unromance

Her neck cracked loudly when she rolled it, and she sighed, staring around her apartment, really seeing it for the first time in two days. Her heels were still by the door from where she’d kicked them off after Christmas dinner with the Wests. Her sink was full of dishes—mostly because her sink was so tiny it was full after putting three whole things in it. She was wearing the same pajamas she’d put on after her shower two days ago, barely having moved from her kitchen table save to pee and catch a few hours of sleep. Drafting Sawyer was not the best at keeping a routine or being a human. It wasn’t really a surprise no one wanted to be with her when she was like this.

She was too exhausted to cook—even her approximation of cooking, which was really just mixing things together. She unearthed her phone from beneath an empty bag of chocolate chips, mentally running through her favorite delivery spots. When she opened her phone, however, her text thread with Mason was still open. She smiled fondly down at it, perhaps assigning way too much significance to a GIF, but there had been a time when her need to give work her singular focus had driven away the person that was most important to her.

Mason might not be the most important person in her life—she couldn’t afford that level of distraction, making herself vulnerable to imploding her life again—but he was… something. A something she enjoyed. Drafting often left her drained and seeking solitude to recharge, but Mason’s presence felt like the only thing that could refill her. And so, even though she was out of words for the day, sheforced herself to type a few more. She resisted the urge to apologize. She was done apologizing for working. Nonetheless, when she hit send—and even though her relationship with God had long been on the rocks—she prayed that her days-long silence hadn’t ruined everything. Again.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CATCHING FEELINGS– When the casual hookup is occupying a not-so-casual amount of your brain space.

We hooked up again.”

The confession came out of him on a grunt as he began the last rep of his set. Luis gave him a look but said nothing, hands at the ready to spot should he need it. The gym wasn’t the logical place to have a heart-to-heart. Talking was nearly impossible when a hundred-plus pounds of weight were hovering over your face, but Mason needed to exhaust himself physically, because mentally and emotionally, he was running on fumes. And yet, he’d been unable to sleep the past two nights.

He’d spent the last two days trying to smooth over the botched LA move announcement. His mother had all but begged him to stay in Chicago, to “keep the family whole,” and it was almost tempting. He could stay onDiagnostics, be there for whatever sports or arts events Milo and Max did, be with Sawyer.

It never took long for his thoughts to circle back to her. He wanted to talk to her about what they’d done after dinner, about how exhausted he was from having to console his mom when he wanted to be excited for this next step in his career. He’d texted Sawyer themorning after… and then spent the next two days staring at his phone like a teenage boy, waiting on a text from his crush.

While a text from Sawyer had eventually come—a single, five-word response promising to text him later—she had not, in fact,texted him later. But she was writing, and that knowledge made him want to jump and click his heels together. Their strange quest was working—for her, at least.

For Mason, it was a goddamn tragedy. He knew he had no business developing feelings for Sawyer. And yet, after two days of near radio silence from her, and his ensuing panic that what they’d done in his car had pushed her away, he’d at least confronted the fact that he was in over his head. He’d gone and grown attached to her. She wasn’t interested in dating, and he was leaving in a few months. Butfuck. He loved being with her, her erratic thought patterns and philosophies on life that were so unmistakablySawyer.

He’d talked himself out of texting her again a thousand times. Leaving his phone in his locker while he and Luis worked out was a relief. He needed to wear himself out to the point that sleep could no longer elude him. He didn’t want to know what he’d get up to after another night of no sleep.

Last night, he’d cleaned the grout in his shower at two a.m., for fuck’s sake.

He was a mess, and it felt good to lose himself in the repetitious movements of the gym. Being here with his best friend was the most normal thing to happen to him in weeks. His skin thrummed with energy and heat, his muscles slick with sweat and tingling with exertion, the familiar ache of exhaustion already setting in.

Luis helped him guide the barbell back onto the rack, and once it was slotted into place, Mason sat up, feeling like he’d let go of a lotmore than just weight. All his secrets were finally out. Well, almost all of them.

Luis gave him an inscrutable look before plopping down on the mat in front of him to begin cooling down. Sinking onto the mat next to him, Mason lay flat on his back, giving up all pretense of stretching even though he knew he needed to or he’d be in knots tomorrow. In more knots than he already was mentally.

Luis’s brown eyes flicked to his. “What do you mean you ‘hooked up again’? She—She’s engaged, dude.”

Mason blinked. “What?”

His friend stared out the window, frowning. “Kara’s been back in town less than a day. How—”

Mason sat up with a grunt. “No. No way. Not Kara. I didn’t even know she was back.” He waited for the gut punch of her being in town and him none the wiser, but none came.

Luis turned to him, relief washing over his face. “Oh, thank God. But wait, if we’re not talking about Kara, who—?” Luis cut himself off, eyes going wide as his jaw snapped shut with understanding. “What do you mean ‘again’?”

Mason grimaced. He forgot he hadn’t told Luis about the first time he’d slept with Sawyer. At first because, well, that was private. Later, when he’d filled Luis in on their mission, he’d told the truth about getting stuck in an elevator with her and having a drink after getting re-dumped by Kara. But he’d pointedly omitted all the sex they’d had afterward to avoid the look now on Luis’s face as he came clean about it. And since he was coming clean—and because Mason still felt guilty for the LA secret even though Luis had said multiple times he was excited for him—he figured he might as well come all the way clean.

He told him about his futile attempts to keep things platonic withSawyer and how after Christmas, that had become impossible, him accepting that he had feelings but would have to get over it, but then he’d spent the last two days with the people he loved most, only to realize the person he most wanted to be with was her. He inhaled shakily, gesturing vaguely, staring up at the ceiling from flat on his back. “So that’s all,” he said with mock lightness, as if he hadn’t spilled his heart out on the sweaty gym floor.

Next to them, a bodybuilder with a neck the size of Mason’s thighs let out a high-pitched groan that wouldn’t be out of place in a porno. Mason and Luis immediately locked eyes before averting their gazes as they stifled their laughs.

Once recovered, Luis shook his head slowly. “‘That’s all’?” His chest shook, laughter rattling its way out. “Holy shit, dude.” Running a hand over his face, Luis stared blankly off to the side as he processed. After a long beat, his brows drew together in the middle. “You guys had sex in my driveway? I’ve never even had sex in my driveway.”

Mason punched him in the arm. “You’re married to my sister, please do not ever forget that, thank you. And no, not in your driveway, down the street from her place. It’s fine. Also, literally not the point.”

Dramatically rubbing the spot he’d punched, Luis chewed on his cheek. “So what’s the problem? You like her. She likes you. You have great sex. Sounds like something to celebrate, not have a crisis over.”

“I don’t know that she does… like me,” he finished uncertainly. He felt like a whiny teenager, but he’d known Luis since before he was a whiny teenager, so there was little room for pride between them.

Luis barked out a laugh. “Are you kidding? I literally have to call my wife after this and tell her I owe her fifty bucks.”

Mason rolled his head sideways on the mat. “What? Why?”

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