Before he could warn her not to make any further moves on Sawyer’s film rights, she’d already hung up. He didn’t want to interrupt her evening, so he hit the side of his phone to make it go black, making a mental note to mention it the next time they spoke.
He exhaled heavily, his head drooping back onto the couch cushions. He was happy for Alissa, but he couldn’t help the ugly twinge of jealousy. He wanted someone to celebrate the wins with.
He dragged the script back onto his lap, clicking his pen purposefully. Only, he couldn’t stop thinking about Alissa’s last question. Sawyer had asked him nearly the same thing after the tree farm. Was John Cusack on to something? Did his exes have the answer to why his relationships never lasted?
He scrolled through his phone, summoning up the same name he’d pulled up that day in Sawyer’s apartment. Only, this time, there was no Sawyer to stop him from hitting dial. The phone rang twice before connecting. He clutched a pillow to his chest for moral support.
“Hello?”
What he was doing finally sank in, and he blinked down at the phone in horror, mouth open but no words coming out. In hindsight, he was grateful he hadn’t done this in front of Sawyer. He envisioned her smirking at him from the other side of the couch, mouthing,Smooth. He waved the visual away.
“Mason?”
The sound of his own name jerked him out of his stupor. “Hi!” he said a little too brightly. “Kara, how are you?”
“I’m good,” she replied, still clearly confused. “How are you?”
Clearing his throat, Mason leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I’m great,” he lied. “How are you?” His eyes fluttered shut as he realized he’d already asked that.
On the other end of the line, Kara laughed softly. “Good to know I’m not the only one nervous about the party tomorrow. I wanted to call you, but I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear from me.” She took asteadying breath. “That wasn’t how I wanted people—you—to find out about the engagement.”
“Congrats, by the way.” He meant it. They’d been friends for years before dating. As lost as he felt right now, he wasn’t so lost that someone else’s happiness made him bitter.
“Thank you. And you should know, I’m bringing Peter to the party. If I have to spend my New Year’s with our shit boss, I’m not going solo.”
He knew exactly why she was telling him.
His mother’s advice rang in his ears.
You should be seen out with someone new, dear.
It pained him to admit he’d unwittingly planned to follow his mother’s advice. But damn it, she was right. Facing Kara again—with her man in tow—would be easier for everyone if he had a date of his own. It was why he’d initially invited Sawyer, but he’d been so hung up on missing Sawyer that he’d completely forgotten about seeing Kara. Every eye in the room would be on them to see how they behaved, a litmus test for how they’d be around each other when filming resumed.
“I’m bringing someone, too.” Well, he hoped that was still true. “But that wasn’t why I called.”
The quiet hum on Kara’s end of the line seemed to ask,So why are you calling?
“Well, I guess, it kinda is why I’m calling. I think I’m bringing someone. I hope, at least,” he laughed humorlessly. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out what I keep getting wrong. And I figured if anyone could tell me, it’d be you.”
He resisted the urge to hide his face in embarrassment. He had grossly underestimated how uncomfortable this would be. NeitherHigh FidelitynorWhy We’re Not Togetherhad prepared him for this.
“Oh,” Kara said awkwardly. “Mason, you were a great boyfriend.”
“Sorry,” he sighed. “I know this is weird. I’m not calling to win you back, or make you feel bad, I just—I try so hard to do everything right, but clearly I’m missing something. I want to know what I’m doing wrong so I can stop fucking it up.” He laughed hollowly, hoping the manic tinge to it didn’t translate.
Kara exhaled heavily on the other end of the line. “Okay,” she said, as if hyping herself up.
Mason sat up straighter.
“It’s that youdotry so hard. Before we dated, I thought, ‘God, if I could just find a man like that. One who wasn’t playing games, wanted to commit, wasn’t scared to talk about a future.’ And then, when we did date—”
She took a steadying breath on the other end of the line. “You were so goddamn perfect,” she laughed. “Our first date was a fairy tale, except you were the idyllic Disney prince and I was the slightly terrifying Hans Christian Andersen version. You were doing everything I thought I wanted, but it’s like, as soon as we started dating, you stopped being my best friend who I decompressed with in the makeup trailer, and started playing the role of the perfect boyfriend. I just wanted Mason. I thought, maybe it’s a growing pain of our relationship changing, but then you told me you loved me and wanted to come to LA with me, and I felt like I knew you less than ever, and—I panicked. It was so much so fast. I thought taking a break while I was in LA would shake us out of it, but… then I met Peter, and from the jump he was so open. Everything that was missing with us was justthere, effortlessly. I don’t know how to explain it.”
Mason nodded. He knew exactly what she meant. It had been the same for him with Sawyer. Effortless. And he’d still fucked it up.
His brain whirred with everything she said, unsure what to do with the information.
Kara let out one of the high-pitched laughs she only did when she was nervous. “I feel like a dick. It’s—you didn’t do anything wrong, but that was kinda it. I didn’t want media-darling, hopeless-romantic Mason West. I just wanted my friend.”