Page 69 of Unromance

Sawyer swore the volume of conversation in the massive room quieted to watch as the on-screen couple, off-screen exes greeted each other.

“Kara.” Mason’s PR Face was firmly in place, his tone the epitome of pleasant.

Kara composed herself in a blink, smiling warmly and leaning in to air-kiss his cheek. “Mason.”

“I see you already met my—” Mason broke off, the hand at her back flexing slightly as he struggled to figure out how to introduce her. She hoped Kara hadn’t seen the bolt of terror and excitement that shot through her when she thought Mason was about to call her his girlfriend.

“Sawyer,” she finished for him, extending her hand.

If Kara noticed anything, she gave away nothing, and Sawyer suspected her PR mask was as fine-tuned as Mason’s. Kara shook her hand briefly, glancing over her shoulder to where Peter was holding court. “Well, I’d introduce you, but—” She took a prim sip of her drink, sharing a knowing look with Mason that Sawyer didn’t like. “I’ll spare you.” Peter gestured grandly, stumbling sideways half a step. Kara sighed heavily. “Actually, I should probably…” She gestured vaguely in Peter’s direction. “It was nice to meet you, Sawyer,” she said warmly. “Mason.”

“Kara.”

As she made her exit, Sawyer loosed a breath. Mason’s hand at her back began rubbing slow circles. She leaned into his side instinctively.

“What did you two talk about?” Mason asked.

“Your bedroom prowess.”

Mason concealed his too-loud laugh with a cough. “What did you actually talk about?”

His expression was still PR Face neutral, and she hated that shehad no context clues to know how he was feeling about seeing Kara for the first time. And frankly, she was trying to pretend she wasn’t still reeling from the strange pang of jealousy at Kara and Mason’s unspoken interaction. Jealousy and… longing. She used to have that with Sadie. She missed having it. A voice that sounded a lot like Lily’s rang through her head, reminding her she could have it, if she wanted it. He was standing right next to her, wanting it. The only thing stopping them was, well, her.

Whatever was written on her face cracked his neutral expression, a slight crease forming between his brows. “You alright?” he asked quietly.

Sliding her hand into his, she led him across the room, down the enormous hallway, trying the first door she saw, relieved to find it unlocked. The sounds of the party fell away as the door shut behind them. She gave the lavish office a cursory glance before refocusing on Mason, who leaned against a curio case, pulling her by their still-joined hands to stand between his legs.

Setting down her drink, she placed her hands on either side of his face. His eyes fluttered shut, and exhaling slowly, his PR Face melted away. When he reopened his eyes, he smiled. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she echoed. “Areyoualright?”

He nodded. “Glad that’s over. Better, now that it’s us.”

The wordusmade her stomach swoop far more than two letters had any right to. She nodded, leaning into him.

“I’m sorry I fumbled your introduction,” he said with a wince.

She smiled, nudging her nose against his and earning a smile. “It doesn’t matter. I know what we are.”

Mason stared down at her, his expression unreadable.

She knew he was resisting the urge to press her for clarification. She traced one of the buttons on his black shirt with her fingertip,trying to figure out a way to tell him what she was feeling without slamming the emotional equivalent of the panic button. She was tired of pretending, too. Tired of pretending she didn’t feel anything at all. She stifled her instinct to make a joke, trying to find a way to meet in the middle of what he wanted and what she could give.

For someone who wrote thousands of words for a living, she was not very good at them in real life. With books, she had multiple chances to get it right, to reword it, to express it all wrong, and then edit it until what was left accurately conveyed what was in her head and in her heart. It didn’t work like that with people. You weren’t guaranteed a do-over, and they were already on their second chance.

She envied Mason’s ease with his feelings, the way he’d conveyed so much when all he’d said wasI think you might be my favorite person. Simple words that spoke volumes.

She traced the lines of his face with her fingertips, hoping he could feel the way she felt through her touch, could read it in her expression. But just in case, she would try to tell him with her words, too.

“I envy you, you know,” she managed.

Mason’s eyes widened, brows shooting upward.

“This may come as a surprise,” she began with heavy sarcasm. “But losing Sadie the way I did—it fucked me up. I envy the way you’ve never stopped chasing love and joy.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, pressing her lips together to fight back the prickle in her eyes. “I’m so scared of ending back up in that place that I stop myself from getting too attached, because it can’t hurt me if I never let it in.” Sawyer laughed humorlessly. “I’m doing a shit job of selling myself, aren’t I?”

The corner of Mason’s mouth twitched up, his dark eyes scanning her face with so much barely restrained hope. “Sawyer.” Her namecame out in a deep rumble, as if it lived in the depths of his chest. “You don’t need to sell me. I’ve been sold. Since the very first accidental innuendo.”

The sincerity in his voice made all of Sawyer’s self-preservation instincts light up, to backtrack before she could disappoint him. Taking a deep breath, she pushed past the fear.

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