Page 59 of Muse

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m okay. I’m just nervous around him.”

“I’ll make sure to keep you away from him tomorrow,” he promised me, and then he rose to his feet. “Are you hungry? Would you like me to fix you a plate?”

Chapter 36

It was the morning of the Samonend, and I was on my second cup of soothing tea to calm my nerves. I honestly could’ve used another, but Soren didn’t want me to be lethargic for the conduction.

“We’re going to be great,” Soren assured me, not for the first time.

"I know," I said because it was the right thing to say, but I didn't feel confident.

A knock at the front door interrupted him, but it was just as well because I didn't want any more pep talks. Soren went to answer it, leaving me on the sofa in the library and holding my teacup with both hands.

From where I sat, I could hear the voices: Soren's distinct baritone and a woman's that sounded familiar.

A moment later, Soren poked his head into the library. “Izzy, there’s a Heloise to see you. Do you want me to send her away?”

"Don't send her away!" I leaped to my feet and rushed out to greet her. It wasn't until she was standing in the foyer that I realized how much I missed her.

“Miss Izzy!” she exclaimed with tears in her eyes, and I ran over to hug her.

Four years ago, Heloise started working four days a week, from sunup to sundown, as a housekeeper at Adora's and my estate. Before that, my mother had hired her when she could afford it, primarily for mending, laundry, and cooking. But the relationship had begun even before that when my mother and I were first out on our own. Heloise had been the downstairs neighbor who taught Adora how to keep an infant alive, and she'd also been the one to watch me whenever Adora had work or other engagements.

I had known her my entire life, and she had offered me far more hugs than Adora had.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen?” I asked.

“No, everything is fine,” she assured me. “I missed you, and I wanted to wish you good luck on the day of your conduction.”

“I’ve missed you, too!” I gave her another squeeze, then released her so I could get a better look at her. “How are you? Have you been well?”

“I am always well. You know me,” Heloise replied as she appraised. Her hand went to my cheek. “You look happy and healthy.”

“I am,” I agreed, even if my nerves were frayed at this particular moment.

Heloise’s gaze flitted over to Soren, who lingered uncertainly at the edge of the room. She lowered her voice when she asked, “Is he treating you well?”

“I am very comfortable in the guest flat,” I told her.

Her smile deepened in relief. “Good.”

"How is everything back home?" I asked because saying Adora's name aloud felt like summoning trouble.

“Everything… everything is as it was,” Heloise answered carefully. “You should know that Lady Adora still plans to attend Samonend today. She has been invited to sit with the courtiers.”

My heart skipped a beat, but I knew that this was a possibility. Adora never missed a chance to rub elbows with Queen Kriselle and other nobles.

"I hope she enjoys the performance,” I said.

Heloise squeezed my hand and gave me a pained smile. “I know that she will.”

She left shortly after that because she needed to work at Adora's for the day, and I did not envy her. My mother's moods were always unpredictable on festival days, and I had to imagine she would be especially volatile given all that was happening between us.

But I didn’t have time to worry about her. There was too much that needed to be done.

We had to leave Soren's estate early because the streets were always a madhouse during festivals. I watched out the carriage window at the black ribbons and skeletal effigies hanging from the kerosene lampposts. Bright orange and red chrysantha blossoms remained steadfast despite the chilly air. All around, I could hear the music and sounds of Samonend.

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