Page 44 of The Penalty

My favorite book is still sitting on the corner of my desk when there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in.” I’m so drawn into the world she’s created that the automatic response slips out. I spin around in the luxurious office chair that came with the house as the door swings open.

Relief is my initial reaction. I wasn’t thinking when I granted passage to my inner sanctum. If I had been, I might have been more concerned that it was JJ about to wreak havoc on my peace.

“Hey.” I fold my arms, leaning back in my chair, but avoiding eye contact.

“Hey, man. What’s going on? I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

I guess my attempt to fly under the radar and act like everything is fine has been failing. Am I even surprised? Beau and Ihave been tight since our freshman year. He probably knows me better than anyone else in my life. Maybe it was wishful thinking that he would be too distracted by his captain role and the rest of the team to notice me pulling away.

“Just been busy.”

He leans back on his heels, and I can feel his eyes locked on me. Finally, when I can’t stand the scrutiny anymore, I look up.

“There you are. Seriously, what’s up? Is it a girl? Something else. You’ve been catching rides with the other guys, not coming out as much. You know you can tell me anything.”

I mash my lips together to keep back the bitter laugh. Pretty sure he suspects nothing, because if he knew about Cece and me, he wouldn’t be standing there casually digging. I’d be the one out on my ass instead of our goalie.

Something. I’ve got to give him something. I squeeze my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and spill. “My father showed up. In the summer, when you guys were all gone. And again at the game yesterday.”

Beau gasps. He knows how I grew up, bouncing around houses. He knows my home situation was bad, and my biological father is the reason I don’t drink, but he doesn’t know all the details. If he assumed both my parents were dead, I never contradicted him.

“Your father? I didn’t know. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He keeps staring at me. “Sort of. I will be. I told him to get lost. I don’t want to see him again. I’m sure he’s looking to snag a ride on the pro hockey gravy train.”

“I’m sorry, dude. If you need any backup. Let me know. I’ll pull the entire team to scare him off if you need.”

I shake my head. “No. Please don’t tell the rest of the guys. They don’t know... It’s in the past. I don’t think he’ll do anything too crazy. He actually seemed okay. Said he was sober, has a fiancée. Probably won’t cause shit.”

He takes a few steps toward me, dropping a hand on my shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone or get anyone else involved. And feel free to call me a crazy asshole, but do you think maybe if you talk to him, he’ll leave you alone?”

My head tilts back, eyes seeking the ceiling. “Maybe. But I don’t want to see him. He’s not worth my time.”

“I gotcha. But if you need anything, let me know.”

The seat squeaks under my shifting weight. As if I didn’t have this intense guilt dragging me down already. Why does he have to be so understanding? It only makes it worse. What I’m doing behind his back. Maybe I should stop. Tell her I can’t see her again, but every time I close my eyes, her face appears in my mind. I can’t shake her. And I don’t want to. No matter how much of an asshole it makes me.

“Will do.”

I chance a glance at him. His brows are pulled together in a slight frown, dark blond hair a little less groomed than usual, as if he’s been running a hand through it on repeat. Maybe he needs me, and I haven’t been there for him? Hiding away.

“What about you? You okay? Those fuckers aren’t too much for you to handle, are they?”

He’s frozen for a moment, almost as if he didn’t hear me, then he reactivates with a toss away laugh. “Nah. I’ve got it under control.”

“Let me know if you need me to rough them up a little. Especially that cocky fucker, Hail.” The rookie has really been testing Beau’s captain skills, but he paired him up with Cole, and they seem to have formed an uneasy truce.

“Will do.”

He steps in a little closer, leaning over me with a deepening frown. “What’s that?”

I follow his gaze to the pile of papers I left carelessly lying on the desk. His sister’s artwork. Something I’m sure he’s very familiar with. Fuck. How could I be so stupid?

I’m whipping around, scooping up the papers, and stuffing them into my desk drawer, hoping he didn’t catch a good look. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it.

“Nothing. Just part of an assignment.”

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