It was one moment that we shared. We stayed in that empty stairwell for thirteen minutes, staring at one another. He didn’t try to comfort me with pretty words, nor did I do the same for him.
It felt nice—I felt seen.
Then, as soon as the bell rang, he never looked at me again.
Now, the only boy I had ever felt anything for was in my home, ready to play house.
Lifereallywanted to keep me on my toes.
TWO
LOURDES
Over a year later
Lourdes almost 19;Neo 23
I guessI couldn’t blame my dad for trying to move on. That wasn’t me saying I was okay with his relationship, but after overhearing his conversation with my grandfather, I could feel sympathy for him. The old man became more insufferable after my grandmother passed away.
My sympathies only extended so far. Especially after my grandmother left me only one Birkin in her collection. My grandmother and I never saw eye to eye, especially when she would let comments slip about how my father made a mistake in marrying my mother. In those moments, I found it hard to bite my tongue, so we clashed.
Why did my father marry my mother in the first place? They met in college. My mother was vivacious, intelligent, and opinionated, and my father found her fascinating. She wasn’t anything like the women he was used to, and he married her despite my grandparents' displeasure. She wasn’t part of theirsocial circles, but he was content that they let him have her. He never fought them to give her a place in his world; he was content having her as a standby.
Now, he would marry the perfect “society” lady, if that could be said about Pricilla, and my grandfather approved. Appearances and all. He even took Neo in with open arms. The asshole was great at sucking up to them. I often wondered if it was that he was a boy or if he looked more like him than I did.
I tried not to let it get to me.
My mother once told me he was more stubborn than a mule, but she didn’t let my grandparents bother her, and maybe that’s why their dislike for her had grown because she wasn’t bending over backward to gain their approval—and neither was I.
When I got to the church, I saw three figures standing in the parking lot. I gripped the wheel a little tighter.
I knewhewould be here.
Over the years, I had only seen Neo during the holidays. His mother was always a thorn in my side at my house, but he kept his distance. I knew my father went golfing with him—even worse, he enjoyed it.
My father put in effort in being a stepdad, and the only effort Pricilla and I made was not to run into one another.
Neo would be my father’s best man, and I would be Pricilla’s maid of honor. I’m sure she loved that idea.
I parked my cute frosty pink Porsche Taycan a few feet away from where they lounged. I turned off the engine and checked my makeup in the rearview mirror, ensuring nothing had smudged.
Pricilla would be having a lovely surprise when she saw me. The thought almost made me smile. The dress she had picked out for me was horrible and didn’t work for my body. Instead of making me look modest or whatever she wanted to do, I lookedfrumpy and unkempt. The sleeves and waistline didn’t do me any favors.
I was glad the burgundy color she picked looked lovely against my complexion, so I should be thankful she didn’t try to spring up my dark winter pallet.
My lips were a shade darker than the dress I opted for instead. They matched my nails. My dress had a scoop neckline corset that was tighter on the top and then had warps of satin going to one side where the high slit on my thigh was, which made it perfect to hide my pouch belly.
Oh, and the real kicker was my shoes.
Pricilla often complained that she wished she could wearSo Kates,but something about her long-ago foot injury prevented her from gracefully wearing them.
I cried, bled, and cursed myself as I trained and molded my foot to meet the standards of the impossible arch, but I was determined. The look of envy on her face was what kept me going. It took a few months for me to be able to walk with the shoes on and not want to cry. Then another for me to be able to wear them for long periods of time. But today, I was confident I could make it all night looking graceful while flashing my pretty heels in her face.
Revenge was one hell of a motivator.
Now that I was settled, I looked at the three guys and took them in, glad that my tinted windows prevented them from doing the same to me. They looked like they were ready for aVoguespread.
After leaving the small bubble of my private school, I gained self-confidence. When you don’t have it, the status quo makes growing up a bitch. You feel like an ugly duckling at times, but once you step into the real world—a more diverse world—you see that you weren’t the issue. And being around other people, you start to feel wanted and desired.