Page 111 of Secrets, Lies and Love

Dionysus

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

She’s barely closedthe door and I want to bring her back, because my treacherous heart can’t accept that everything between us could have ended like this.

I go to the window, staring blankly at the cloudy sky, my mind trying to rationalize what I’ve just discovered instead of letting anger and pride dominate me.

I go back to my desk and pick up the letter. I don’t want to read it because, no matter what is written in it, it won’t change the fact that Cecily lied, but at least I’ll get the other side of this story.

So far, I’ve only had Sue’s version. Putting together everything Odin discovered about Keith’s past and my relatives’ suspicions about her, I feel like I owe the dead man at least the benefit of the doubt.

I open the sheet of paper and see that, in some places, the writing is blurred.

Cecily’s tears?

I start to read it.

My beloved Cici, you know how horrible I am at writing even short messages. Now imagine a whole letter! But I need to record much more than I can put into a telephone conversation.

First about the past, about the two of us.

I want to ask for forgiveness. I swore loyalty. I swore to take care of you, and then I abandoned you.

While you were growing up in that hell, I was sure that you belonged to me, that you were my destiny and that at some point in the future, we would be together. Time passed and my love for you didn’t change. And neither did yours. On your part, there was no romantic feeling. What I perceived was the purest and most sincere friendship.

I know that if I had insisted, you would have stayed with me out of gratitude. It wasn’t what I wanted. I was in love. I wanted you to love me the same way.

I’m not proud to say I walked away out of spite. I underestimated you. How, my pride-clouded mind thought, could a rural Kansas girl not be grateful, in love with her savior? With a brilliant, young, and rich man, willing to give her the world?

Yes, Cici, arrogance brought me down, because today I see that you were the best thing that ever happened in my life.

Don’t be annoyed if, from time to time in this letter, I ask you for forgiveness. I can never apologize enough.

When I met Sue, I had just made my fortune and thought I could buy anything I wanted, including the love of a beautiful woman.

As I already told you, it was perfect at first, but after the sexual excitement of the first few months passed, the emptiness remained, because she wasn’t you. Nothing like you. She didn’t have your smile, kindness, and innocence.

In fact, the woman who had my son inside her body turned out to be a monster, and now I fear that I won’t see the baby born.

He still doesn’t have a name or anyone to protect him, and despite knowing that I don’t have the right to do so, I will ask anyway: take care of my son. Fight her for custody. Sue doesn’t want this child.

How do I know this? She’s reckless. She stays out late at night, drinks, screams, doesn’t eat properly. She seems to hope that the baby won’t survive, even.

I also suspect that she goes out with other men, even though she’s pregnant.

You must be wondering why I’m not leaving when, as I told you on the phone, more than once I thought Sue made an attempt on my life.

The answer is simple: I can’t leave until my son is born. Until he is free from the prison that is her body.

I had stomach problems in the recent past, and although the doctors who examined me didn’t detect anything, I think she tried to poison me. I’m getting paranoid. I don’t eat at home anymore. I sleep little, always vigilant for any sign of aggression, and I’m counting the months until she gives birth.

If something happens to me, watch over him. You have to promise me that, Cici.

I never planned to throw the help I gave you in your face, but I have no one else. It has to be you.

I fear sending you to meet her because Sue is dangerous and cruel, but someone needs to fight for my son. He can’t be at the mercy of that monster.

I will never have enough words to tell you how much I regret not only marrying her, but not persevering in trying to win your love, Cici. I was weak and arrogant.

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