Page 83 of Secrets, Lies and Love

He takes my hand, and after we leave, he closes the bedroom door. I continue to stand there, staring at him. My heart pounds inside my chest because of what I’m going to do, but I can’t see any other way out.

“I want more too. I don’t care about the deadline. As much as possible, I want more.”

Dionysus

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

“What changed?”I ask, studying her face carefully.

“I don’t know if I understand.”

“Before we went to get Joseph, you said you didn’t want to be with me anymore. You were unwavering, in fact.”

“Have you changed your mind?”

“No, I never go back on a decision. I want you.”

“I don’t know how we’re going to make this work.”

“You don’t know how we’ll makewhatwork, Cecily? We are free.”

She doesn’t say anything. I take her hand again and start walking down the stairs.

It’s freezing—I’ve broken out in a cold sweat—so after positioning the baby monitor on the kitchen table, I sit her on the counter and fit between her legs.

Cecily looks silently around the room and then at me. I know neither of us can forget what happened here. A desperate act of desire, passion, one that perhaps created an eternal bond between the two of us.

“What will we have to work on?” I repeat the question.

“Being together.”

“Are you afraid of being pregnant?”

“Yes, I am, but that’s not why I want more. It’s you. Us together. However, it will be a mess. I will be your babysitter during the day and your girlfriend at night.”

“Why not afull-time girlfriend?”

“In that case, I would have to move into my apartment again. You would need another nanny for Joseph. I don’t want to leave him.”

“Why would you need to leave him? Say what’s on your mind, Cecily. You’re talking in code. That doesn’t work for me. I like everything clear.”

She swallows hard. “I’m proposing a secret relationship.”

“What? I’ve never hidden myself. I don’t owe anyone an explanation.”

“You’ve never hidden because you’ve never needed to bring any women into your house, but you never took them on either. With me, you’ll only do it because I have to be here. Don’t you realize we’re a mess?”

I pull her close, cupping her face. “Yes, we are a mess. I don’t like mess, but I like you.”

“You want me, you mean.”

“Madly. Right now, I want to pull your panties to the side and fuck you hard, but I like you too, even if I didn’t plan on it.”

“Can youplanthis kind of thing? If so, please tell me how.”

“Why? You’re with me now. No need for plans for liking other guys anytime soon. Maybe never.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

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