Page 31 of Saving Grace

“I figured.” He brought his heavy hand down on my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort the storm that raged inside me.

We stood in silence for a few seconds, him patting me on the back, hard.

“Don't mention her name from this day forth.” I felt something inside me fizzle then fade as the words left my mouth.

“You sure? You can't really blame her for leaving. She found out a hell of a lot in a short amount of time. Hell, I probably would have run too.” He tried to reason with me, but I wasn’t trying to hear it, even though a part of me felt he was right, but right didn’t stop the ache in my chest that her leaving me had caused. She could have stayed and we could have gotten through it together.

“I’m really fucking sure,” I gritted. I was fucking done. I slashed the air “I’m done. I have to be. If I were to survive, I couldn’t keep thinking about what I’d lost or the what ifs.

He threw his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Never again will I say her name but let me say this. We’re friends right?”

“Brothers.” I corrected, wondering where the conversation was heading.

“Brothers,” he repeated. “Don’t take this disrespectfully when I tell you this whole marriage thing is bullshit. Your grandfather is using her to keep tabs on you, to gain full control of your life. If he wanted her father’s spot, he could have gotten it without you selling your soul to that mondao,” he paused to see how I would react to him disparaging my grandfather and now wife. I didn't give a fuck. I did have a question.

“What the fuck is a mondoa?”

He sucked his teeth, giving me an annoyed slash impatient look, one that an adult gives a child.

“That’s the only question you have after hearing everything I had to say?”

“Yes, I’m not dense, I’m aware of everything you’re telling me, but I feel I owe my grandfather, if this is what he wants, this is what I’ll do.” I shrugged. I couldn’t live the simple life I wanted after prison. So, I was resigned to living the life I was given.

He shook his head and exhaled. His jaw clenched. He was holding himself back from saying more. He knew me well enough to know that the conversation about my grandfather was finished and that frustrated him. Uffe wasn’t a man of many words, better to stumble with toe and not tongue, he’d told me all those years ago when we met in prison, but when he spoke, he expected you to listen.

“Now what’s a mondoa?”

He paused and thought for a second, then snapped his fingers in the way only he could do it.

Sirena, you Americans call it a mermaid, But not a pinkin tale, there’s no falling in love with a pretty girl from under the sea. No, she’s a pale skin, dark haired, piercing eyed creature, luring males to their death.

I laughed aloud, throwing my head back. He had described Sophia perfectly.

He didn’t look amused.

” You know we can leave and disappear, say that word and it’s done.”

I actually thought about it, but who wanted to live their life constantly running? I shook my head.

“Nah, I’m good.” I wouldn’t run, it wasn’t worth living the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.

“I tried.” He shrugged “I speak on it again. Just know when you’re ready to end this all. We can go.”

I nodded

He clapped his hands together. “Ok then, I hate to break up this brotherly moment, but you better get back in there. Your Grandfather was cursing in Italian and you know that means he's pissed.”

He didn’t wait for me to respond. He just turned around, opened the door, and held it for me.

Before I stepped over the threshold, I mentally declared — once I walked through that door, from that day forth Grace Devereux would no longer take up space in my head or heart.

Grace

Three hours before Atticus’ wedding…

A big black SUV was parked idling at the curb outside of my doctor’s office when I came out. At first, I paid it no attention, but as I walked towards my own car, I started to feel the heat of eyes on my back. Someone was watching me. I was almost positive.

Then I thought maybe I was being paranoid, but that didn’t stop me from quickening my pace.

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