Page 45 of Session 33

Cassius's face tightened, a dark shadow crossing his features. He took a step closer, his hand darting out to grab my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. His grip was firm, almost painful. "Why you always have to bring that bitch up?" he hissed, his eyes boring into mine. "You think you're the only one hurting here? I flipped that table because I care, because I won't lose you to some otherman, and I can feel you slipping away ever since you found out you're pregnant. Tell me it ain't true."

I tried to pull away, but his grip tightened. "Let me go, Cassius, and get out of my house," I said, my voice trembling. I was so angry.

"No, you listen to me," he snarled, leaning in closer. "I'm not going anywhere. You are carrying my baby. You can’t break up with me because I fucked up. We're in this together, whether you like it or not."

I could feel the tears threatening to spill. "None of what you say means shit to me after you just embarrassed me for no reason, and you didn’t just fuck up. You continually fuck up. I love you, Cassius, but you got me fucked up if you think I’m going to let you take your frustrations out on me. Get a therapist. Go to fucking church." I managed to choke out. "Now get out!"

Cassius's jaw clenched, his eyes flickering with something dangerous—something dark. He finally released me, shoving back a step. "I'll go," he said, his voice dripping with anger, as if he had the right to be mad at me. "I'll go so you can calm down, for the baby's sake. But don't think for a second that this is over."

I stood there, breathless, just staring at him. My chest heaving. His chest heaving. Our words hung in the air like a curtain between us.

His face finally softened before he walked away.

As soon as the door closed behind him, I sank to the floor, tears I’d been holding back finally spilling over. The anger that had fueled me moments ago now left me feeling hollow and drained. How had we ended up here? When I wished for an end to the loneliness, I didn’t expect it to be replaced by heartache.

Chapter Thirty six

The air was cool as fuck out on thebalcony of one of Sila's rich women’s condos, it kept the gin I’d drank from taking over. He passed me the blunt, and I took a deep drag from it, letting the smoke fill my lungs before slowly blowing it out. We were back in a good space for now. He apologized again for the shit at the bar.

“Man, I really fucked up,” I said, my voice just loud enough to be heard over the music coming from inside. “I flipped a damn table, Silas. Then I showed up to Angel putting my stuff out of her house. I saw the look on her face, and it screamed everything is falling apart.”

Three days, and Angel hadn’t answered the phone or come to the door. She’d had the locks changed. I was fucked up. I could only imagine how she was feeling—her heart was bigger than mine, more fragile.

Silas nodded, taking the blunt from me and inhaling deeply. He held the smoke in for a moment before exhaling. “Cheer the fuck up. You and Angel will be okay. Just give her some time to cool down. She’s pregnant, man. Emotions are high. I was skeptical about her at first, didn’t think she’d be there for you when youneeded her. But she has been, and I’ve seen you changing for the better. Even I can see it, and I didn’t want to see it.”

His words made me feel a little better. I nodded, taking the blunt back from him. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should wait. Give her some time. I took another hit, the head rush calming me down, then handed the blunt back to Silas.

Before I could say anything else, a blonde chick who looked like she stepped out of a magazine came up to Silas, wrapping her arms around him. “Come dance with me,” she said, pulling him towards the sliding glass door.

Silas grinned at me and handed me the blunt. “I’ll be right back.”

I watched as he disappeared into the crowd inside, the sliding glass door closing behind him. Kanye West’s “Monster” was playing.

I stood there for a moment, thinking about Angel and our baby. What would our child look like? Would they have my eyes or her smile? I wished my mom was here for all of this, to guide me. The memory of her laugh echoed in my mind, and I felt a deep ache in my chest.

With a sigh, I decided to leave the party and head back to Angel’s place. Fuck waiting. I needed to fix things, to make it right. It was midnight, but I knew she would be sleeping. The baby kept her up at night. I opened the sliding glass door, and Megan Thee Stallion filtered out. I pushed through the crowd. As I made my way to the front door, someone grabbed my arm, stopping me.

I turned, ready to shake them off, but my mind went blank when I saw who it was. She was someone from my past, someone I hadn’t seen in years. She was the second most beautiful woman I’d ever seen—right after Angel. Different though.

The world seemed to shrink to just the two of us, the party fading into the background. Seeing her brought back a flood of memories, both good and bad, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to say.

“Cassius?” she said, her voice a mix of surprise and something else—something that I’d forgotten. She was someone I had tried to forget.

“What are you doing here?” I had to nearly yell to be heard over the music.

She smiled, a slow, familiar smile that made my stomach twist. “I’m here with some friends. I knew you lived in the area, but I didn’t think I’d run into you. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it has,” I replied, still trying to wrap my head around seeing her in the aftermath of the person I used to be.

We stood there for a moment. I knew I should walk away. But something in her eyes kept me rooted to the spot, and I couldn’t move.

“I’ve missed you,” she said softly, her hand still on my arm.

The guilt I’d been feeling started to fade, replaced by the pull of old memories. “I’ve missed you too.”

She stepped close, her body brushing against mine. She smelled expensive, her body not as soft as I was used to now. "Let’s walk to my car," she said. "You can roll this blunt for me."

I nodded. “Yeah, okay. But I gotta go after that.”

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