Page 60 of Session 33

He held out a small, velvet box, opening it to reveal a ring that sparkled in the morning light. "Angel," he began, his voice steady but thick with emotion. "I’ve known for a while now that I don’t want to spend another day without you. I love you, and I want to build a life with you. Will you marry me?"

I stood there, frozen for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest as I took in the sight of him. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. All I knew was that the answer was yes—it had to be yes.

Chapter fifty

Me and Angel were in the therapist’s office. Dr. Bailey was a Black dude with dreads. I’d chosen him specifically because he was younger, and I felt like he’d understand me better, like he could actually help me. His office was nice—clean and modern, set up like the living room of a luxury high-rise. It felt more like I was at a friend’s place to talk than sitting in some sterile room having my head played with. Angel sat across from me, her gaze locked on me, wanting answers I wasn’t sure I could give. Dr. Bailey, sitting off to the side, nodded at her and then turned his attention to me.

“Cassius, it’s important that you address the questions Angel has. Let’s start with the one she’s been holding onto.”

Angel took a breath, her voice calm, but there was a weight to it that made my heart kick up. “Why didn’t you open the door that day?”

My stomach dropped. It was a question I’d been avoiding. But now, there was no escape. I looked down at my hands, gripping my knees, trying to find the words.

“I... I begged you to have our baby,” I started, my voice thick with emotions I didn’t want to feel. “I wanted it so bad, Angel. But then, when it all became real, I got scared. Fucking terrified, actually. I started telling myself I’d fuck everything up. Mydaddy was there, but he was running the street. He didn’t teach me shit about being a father.”

I could see her out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze. I kept talking, needing to get it all out before I lost the nerve.

“After what happened with Solomon... when you told me to leave... I took it the wrong way. Felt like you were giving up on me, and I just shut down. I convinced myself that I didn’t care anymore.”

The words started pouring out faster, spilling in a rush. “And when you showed up at the house, pissed as hell... I saw you out there, and all I could think was, ‘If I open that door, I’ll only make things worse.’ Ciara was inside, and you were already mad... I didn’t know how to fix it. So I froze. I told myself to stay out of it, and I let you go.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Finally, I forced myself to look up at Angel. The pain in her eyes was hard to face.

“I need some air,” I muttered.

I stood up before anyone could say anything, heading for the door. I could feel their eyes on me, but I didn’t turn back.

When I stepped outside, I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. But it wasn’t working. All I could think about was Angel moving on while I was left to deal with the mess I’d made—by my fucking self.

I leaned against the wall. The more I tried to hold it together, the more everything unraveled. My chest tightened, until finally, I broke. The tears came hard and fast, and sobs ripped through me. My legs gave out, and I slid down the wall, burying my face in my hands, choking on regret.

I hadn’t cried like this in years. Not even when my parents had died.

I didn’t hear the door open or notice when Angel walked out. But then, I felt her. She got down on her knees, her warm arms wrapping around me. I didn’t deserve shit from her, didn’t deserve her comfort, but I couldn’t push her away. I needed her.

“It’s going to be alright,” she whispered, her voice soft. “We’re going to figure this out. You’re not alone. You have family now, Cassius. We’ll get through this.”

Hearing her say “we” made me cry harder because there really wasn’t a “we” anymore.

Chapter fifty one

Naomi was sprawled on the opposite couch, legs crossed, a brow raised at me. "So you’re telling me," she said, leaning in like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, "Cassius was really crying in your bosom? Like, actual tears?"

I nodded. "Yes, Naomi. When I walked out of that therapist’s office and saw him like that, it nearly broke me. He could have asked me to do anything to make it stop, and I would have done it." I hesitated to finish my thought; the truth wanted to stick in my throat. "But a part of me... a small, twisted part of me wanted to tell him about Solomon and me. Just to make his chest hurt more."

Naomi threw her head back and laughed, loud and hard. "Angel, that’s fucked up."

"I know," I said, the shame of it sinking in. "That’s why I’m going to sign up for therapy on my own. Everything that happened back then... it wasn’t just Cassius. I was at my worst. Fighting Keisha, breaking his windows, keying his car—twice."

Naomi’s eyes went wide. "Twice? You didn’t tell me you keyed it once.”

I cringed, nodding. "Yeah. Before and after Ekon was born. He didn’t say a word."

"Probably because he knew he deserved it," Naomi said, her voice softening. "But you ain’t innocent. I told you back then he wasn’t ready. And you still entertained his mess."

Before I could respond, the front door opened, letting light and heat in. In walked Cassius, Silas, and Jonas. They were dressed for the court, all swagger and sweat.

Silas saw me first, his face lighting up like a kid. He sauntered over and flopped down on my lap, his weight pressing me into the couch. "Mother of my favorite person, where is our secret son?" I don’t know when we had gone from mortal enemies to him feeling like a bratty sibling, but after Ekon was born, he was all good. He’d show up just to play with him and bring him random things.

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