“Argh,” I groan as my mother grips my arm tight. She squeezes hard, her eyes blazing with anger.
“Puttana(Whore)!”
I’m trying to pull my arm free from her grip. “Let go of me.”
“How dare you get pregnant?” she yells.
Oh, fuck!
No.
My eyes bulge out in shock. I’m staring at my brother, confused, wishing Mother is wrong. I need her to be.
“Wh…what? What is she saying, Giovanni?”
“Whose child is it? You can’t be stupid enough to not know who it is.”
My head is hurting and racing. Luca and I had been having unprotected sex. And not only once. I am so fucked.
“Answer me!”
“Let go of my arm,” I protest.
Giovanni is staring at me angrily. He hisses roughly and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s him. Isn’t it?”
“Who?” Mother questions, exchanging glances between Giovanni and me.
I shake my head in response, even though he is right. My eyes are getting teary and my vision blurry.
Giovanni doesn’t look at me anymore as he punches the wall.
“Who is it, Giovanni?” Mother asks again.
He takes a moment and lets out a harsh breath before he turns back to look at us.
“Please don’t,” I mouth to him.
“Luca De Santis.” He ignores my silent pleas and says his name.
I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and break down in tears. My chest hurts just as much as my head does.
Mother lets go of my arm as she yells some words in Italian before storming out of the room, no doubt to go tell Father.
I sink deeper into my bed, crying hard. I’m fucking pregnant. Luca did this to me and now he is gone. Fucking gone. I hate myself for being so foolish.
“Look at me, Anna!”
I’m breathing heavily as I keep my eyes shut while I cry. I can’t bear the look on Giovanni’s face.
He hasn’t ever looked at me with so much disgust and anger. “Look at me!” His voice grows louder and fills the air. It makes me flinch.
My tears flow uncontrollably, making the ache in my head worse. “I can’t... I can’t... I can’t, please.”
“You-you let him f-” Giovanni stops himself for a moment.
I’m dying in regret and he has no idea how much I wish this never happened.
“You let him fuck you and you had no reason to at least stay safe? I thought I knew you better than this, Anna.”