Page 24 of The Broposal

HAN

My arms burned like hell as I fought to raise my chin to the pull-up bar. I’d placed the bar at the edge of the hallway leading to the living room so I could watch movies while working out.Moanawas a good distraction from the pain in my arms, and the pain was a good distraction from what could have happened today and that I wouldn’t know if everyone was okay until Kenny got home.

Don’t think about it.

Instead of thinking, I screamed out the final words to the song as I pulled my chin to the bar for as long as the final note lasted.

Kenny jiggled the doorknob and walked in just in time for my performance. He laughed to himself as he tossed his stuff on the counter and kicked off his shoes. Then he walked to the living room, the smile wiped from his face as he gave me a worried look. I ignored it, pulling myself up again, then again.

Then Kenny’s face changed from worried to amused, and he bit back a grin. “You sound like you’re having sex.”

One of my hands slipped from the bar, and an awkward laugh escaped as I reached back up and kept going, trying not to appear flustered. “And you… uhhn… sound like you’re… ahhh… twelve.”

Kenny laughed, too. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Lighten it from what?”

Kenny raised an eyebrow like the answer was obvious. He gestured to the TV. “Moanaandworking out? You couldn’t possibly be looking for a…pick-me-up, could you?” Kenny grinned, proud of his not-even-that-clever pull-up pun.

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Did those guys end up calling the cops?”

“Nope. I paid for their refund out of pocket.”

Thank God.

Kenny plopped himself on the couch while I kept at my pull-ups. We were both quiet for a minute, minus the “sex sounds.” Then Kenny gave me another solemn look. “I know you don’t like talking about this, but is it okay if we do for a second?”

I dropped from the bar and switched to crunches. Exercising was a necessary buffer from things getting too real.

“Are you gonna stay now that you have another job?” Kenny asked after a moment of silence.

“What are you talking about?”

Kenny sighed shakily. “I know you were thinking about moving back to Mexico. But you have a job now! I’ll send you home like I did today if anyone tries to call the cops at work. I…” He swallowed. “I don’t want to lose you. Please stay.”

A million thoughts swirled through my brain at once. It tooka minute to pick one to say out loud. “You know it wasn’t about the job, right? It was about the green card. My old job was supposed to sponsor it.That’swhy I was thinking about going back to Mexico. How did you even know about that, anyway?”

Kenny slumped his head and looked up at me through thick lashes. “When I was doing your laundry, I saw your video…”

“And youwatchedit?” I stopped doing sit-ups to meet Kenny’s eyes. There was no way I heard him right.

“It was an accident! I thought it was one of your songs. I had no idea it wasn’t for me to watch. I’m sorry, Han—”

“The hell, dude? That shit is private.” I rubbed my temples. Kenny knew about the video, meaning he probably thought it was actually for my mom. How was I supposed to explain the truth?

“But, Han…” Kenny chewed his lip before eventually continuing. “Whywasit private? Not the video, I mean… I’m your best friend. Shouldn’t you tell me if you’re thinking about moving to another country?”

I turned to meet his gaze. “Me going back to Mexico has always been a possibility. I could get deported tomorrow. You know that. I’vealwaysthought about going back. My whole life!”

“Do you really want to go back?” Kenny’s voice shook.

“No!” I shouted, which made Kenny jump. Seeing him startle at my raised voice made me soften up, and I went back to doing crunches to ease the guilt. “This is my home,” I finally added.

“I feel like a complete ass,” Kenny said.

“Why?”

“Because you deal with this every day. Today was the first time I’ve had a real scare about it. Like, I worry all the time, but I never had to truly face your reality until today.” Kenny leaned his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands.Then his voice came out softer, like he was about to cry. “When I thought Daniel was gonna call the cops, it all hit me at once. And you have to deal with that fear all the time.”

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